


Sun

by Lorycake



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: A little angst, Fluffy, M/M, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:55:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26277499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorycake/pseuds/Lorycake
Summary: In the view of all the residents of that small town, perhaps Changkyun was still seen as a cloudy and rainy day, but not for Hyungwon.After so long away, he just wanted to return to find his sun.-------------------------Fanfic based on the song "Sun", by JunoWolf
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Im Changkyun | I.M, Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Lee Minhyuk/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 18
Kudos: 54





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone,  
> Ok first of all, I'm saying again that English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistake.  
> I wrote this fic in my native language and I'm translating it by myself, so if you have some advice, I'd love to know, but please be kind <3  
> See you soon

_ From: Minyokuu93@monmail.com _

_ To: CHyungwon0194@monmail.com _

_ Date: April 14, 2020 _

_ Subject: My wedding _

_ Wonnie, _

_ Okay, I’m appealing to the email and you don’t have a clue how I’m mad now, but you’ve become all important and all I have left is this impersonal means of communication to invite you to my wedding. I would like to leave it on record that I will break your face as soon as we see each other because you are a denatured person who doesn't answer my calls properly and I wanted to make sure that you would not hang up on me when I tell you, FUCK HYUNGWON, I WILL GO GET MARRIED. _

_ I WILL MARRY KIHYUN, YOUR CURSED MOUTH WAS RIGHT, AFTER ALL. _

_ I would have called you earlier and done all the conventional baloney, but I couldn't get in touch. It’s next month and I hope you’ll come or I’ll have to move from our city to go to Paris to find you. _

_ I would say that gifts are not necessary, but you are earning well so bring us a good gift, sir. And try not to get more attention than the newlyweds at the party, your ridiculous flawless human being. _

_ We are missing you. All of us… _

_ Everyone, you know who I'm talking about. He wants you to come back. _

_ I love you even if you don't deserve for left me. We are waiting for you. _

_ Minhyuk. _


	2. 01 - After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heey. Hmm before you start, I'm gonna explain.  
> The chapters are divided in "before and after". Now, We start with an "after" one.  
> Hope you like it and if you wanna drop a comment, I'd love it  
> Ok let's go.  
> Enjoy <3

_ After _

_ \- I open my eyes and I can see _

_ The sunlight that flows from you _

Mulbang-ul was known for its afforestation.

Even the central area, which housed the main residential focus, was taken over by the orchards that made the city's economy revolve. The smell was always citrusy and floral and more often than he allowed to admit, Hyungwon missed that odor.

It was spring and everything was blooming in color in the small town as if it welcomed him after so many years. A part of him believed that he did not deserve such a congratulation after having spent so much time away, but he could not help smiling as he watched every corner of that place.

It had changed a lot, although it looked exactly the same. The same families continued to populate the mansions and the same stores functioned, although now larger or with a new look, with different owners. And, of course, the characteristic smell of strawberry and lemon orange.

The smell that made Hyungwon remember so much of  _ him _ .

The drive to his family's home was not as long as he expected, perhaps because the feeling that there was so much to see on the way had made any time too short. Still, there was nothing to complain about, because to be honest, those things didn't seem that important when remembering that he had people to meet.

The Chae family's old car still made a weird noise and Hyungwon smiled as he made his way to Lee's home to find one of the reasons for his return to that city.

He hadn't said the flight schedule, but he left a message for Minhyuk as soon as he disembarked and was not surprised when he saw his blond friend waiting for him on the porch of his own house. It looked even bigger since the last time he was there, but he didn't have much time to notice because as soon as he put his feet out of the car, Minhyuk threw himself against his body and crushed him in an embrace.

"I can't believe you really came".

"You threatened me" Hyungwon replied, smiling slightly "And I needed to come here to ask you if you are sure you will marry Kihyun. If you want I scream when they ask if anyone is opposed ..."

"You idiot" Minhyuk laughed "Now it's too late. I should have come back before I fell in love with that demon".

"Then I would have to go back since you were thirteen" Minhyuk pushed his cheek with his tongue, knowing that Hyungwon was provoking him "What? That fight of yours was always sexual tension. Everyone knew it".

"Fuck you. Get in or I'll kick your ass back to Paris".

Being inside Lee's house again was like going back to a distant childhood. Not only was the natural perfume of the city present, but also the smell of strong coffee that Mrs. Dior loved and the orange tree flowers that Mr. Dong always picked and washed to adorn small arrangements around the house.

The whole place was bright and open, not only because of the large number of huge windows and double doors, but also figuratively wide open, welcoming anyone who wanted to enter. The entire family, since the oldest generations, has always been known for their hospitality and kindness and, perhaps, this was the reason that the big house is still standing as well as the business has always prospered.

Hyungwon stared Yoo Kihyun's brown hair in the kitchen, helping Dior, his best friend's mother, with the food. The whole atmosphere was upside down, because they were receiving too many visitors during those days thanks to the wedding and it was obvious that the most distant guests were not allowed to be out of sight for a long time.

The woman, owner of the house, happily came to meet him as soon as he appeared at the door. Now she needed to stand on her tiptoes to kiss his face, unlike when he left the city at eighteen and it was certainly the first thing Dior talked about.

"You look even better," she pointed out then, holding Chae's face in her hands. "How is that possible?"

"Don't inflate his ego so much, mom" Kihyun complained, finishing washing his hands after cutting the onion "He pretends he doesn't like it, but loves it".

"It's been so long" Hyungwon said looking at Yoo "Won't you give me a hug too?"

"Only if I were to stab you in the back".

Although the words were aggressive and those two had always related in that way, there was no real enmity. They were close, as were most people of the same generation in that city, and their teasing was quite fun for both of them.

It was for this reason that after drying his hands, despite the aversive sentence, Kihyun came over to give him a weak punch on his shoulder, welcoming him.

"You took a long time to come back," he said with a serene smile.

"I know" was all Hyungwon answered.

He didn't want to lie saying that it was accidental or that he couldn't have come back sooner. He knew he could have taken a break a long time ago, but the reality is that he didn't want to. To return to that place would be to return to find  _ him _ .

And he would only do that if I had the slightest hope of being welcome.

Minhyuk made a point of dumping too much information over Hyungwon in a short period of time. While Dior and Kihyun finished preparing the food, the blonde chattered about how he had found himself in the family business and how Kihyun and he had expanded the trade to other neighboring states and countries. He commented on the gradual approach they had and of which Hyungwon knew very little and, between laughs, told how the marriage proposal was.

"He left the alliance with Olivia" Kihyun commented" And she took it to the stable.

"I had to look through the straw. It was the worst day of my life" Minhyuk lamented "But after I found it, it became the best of them".

"Until the wedding day" Dior hummed "And so on".

Both Yoo and Lee looked at the woman affectionately and the conversation returned as they set the table. Mrs. Lee, of course, asked about Hyungwon's parents and if the two of them would join the meal, but Chae denied because his mother should be right now arranging his room and waiting for him to return. 

He used to always call his parents and even call them to visit him in France, but it was the first time he had returned in eight years. That return did not cause strangeness only in himself, but in everyone.

As time passed and they finished eating, Hyungwon decided to ask:

"Where's Dong?"

"My father went to buy some things from the list of Mrs. Dior for the wedding" he said smiling in scorn "It seems that she doesn't trust much in the ornamentation team".

"I just think there are things that can be added to match the both of you" the woman defended herself "You said you liked it".

"And we like it" Kihyun assured, "But it's still funny".

Hyungwon smiled the moment the front door was opened. Dong's voice was heard immediately, complaining about his spine. Chae didn't move, waiting for him to get to where they were. He heard the sound of boxes being left on the floor, somewhere in the living room.

"Good thing Kyunnie is young and helped me," Dong said from the other room.

It was at that moment that Hyungwon felt his heart stop. The eyes turned to the door, seeing that Dior and Kihyun were going to meet Mr. Lee, but Minhyuk stared at him for a second before following them.

"Don't take advantage of his goodwill," Dior complained, but then thanked him.

So Hyungwon could hear his laugh. It had been so many years ...  _ So many years _ . His feet followed the path faster than the brain could reason. His hands were shaking slightly and his stomach was restless, cold, churning with anxiety.

His eyes scanned the room, wanting only a glimpse, but like a magnet, the brown eyes found him immediately.

There was a silence tearing the air, so loud that no one dared to break. The laughter died and Hyungwon would even dare to say that they all left, because he didn't see anyone else. Only  _ him  _ in the shade of the half-light that came from the sunny day, so incandescent that Chae felt blind. Only  _ him _ , still so warm in every memory that the presence burned everywhere.

Only Im Changkyun looking deep in his eyes, so bright he felt like he could see for the first time after long, cold years.


	3. 02 - Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey agaaain  
> I hope you like the update, feel free to drop a comment, I'll be really happy and I'm sorry for the numbers of the chapters and the names being irregular ugh.  
> Sooo  
> Enjoy <3

_ Before _

_ \- I've watched you grow for a long time _

_ And I feel that way _

Im Changkyun was a strange boy.

Unlike all the children in that class, the newbie didn't come from any of the big farms or old houses in the city. His family had moved into a small house by the lake and all that was known about the newcomers was the tiny strawberry and lime orange plantation at the back of the property.

Mrs. Im was a foreigner from what they deduced because Grace was definitely not a Korean name. In such a small town, the news and gossip runs, of course, and everyone found out soon that Grace had recently been a widow and all she had now was the pension she received from her deceased husband to support herself and her son until she could get back to work. She ended up in Mulbang-ul not by chance, since the older generations of the ex-husband's family owned that tiny property no longer used by anyone until Grace discovered its existence among the goods that came to belong to her. Without the need to pay rent and a chance to live a peaceful life in the small town, she needed no further incentives to move with her son.

Changkyun has always been withdrawn and quiet, shy in the presence of strangers. Moving to a place so different from the urban climate he was used to ended up closing him inside his oyster even more. It was not intentional, however. Changkyun was an exceptionally caring boy, but the loss of his father and the sudden change made adaptation practically impossible.

During the entire first month, no one at the new school dared approach Changkyun. They spoke to him only what was strictly necessary, often at the request of the teachers because he still seemed weird and too quiet. He was always silent, lost in big sweatshirts - because Grace had started to buy bigger sizes for fear that puberty would make him grow suddenly and lose the clothes - and the few times he dared to answer, his voice was always low and restrained.

Everyone were used to the mess that Minhyuk and his younger brother, Jooheon, caused. Even the quietest ones ended up giving in to the Lees' jokes and that placidity was not common for the boys in that class.

It was during a break, when Minhyuk accidentally stuck gum in the hair of a little girl who started to scream, that Changkyun showed a smile for the first time. Hyungwon tried not to get into the mess, so he noticed the boy trying to contain his laughter, practically hidden in the corner of the hall, but he didn't look mean. If Hyungwon took a chance, he would say that Changkyun laughed because Yeonjung's expressions were really funny even though he was sorry for her. But the next day, when the girl appeared with her hair cut to her shoulders, Hyungwon Knew he was right. Changkyun did not know her, he had never even spoken to her, but when he noticed that the girl looked downcast due to the accident, he approached the girl, apprehensive before saying:

"Your hair is beautiful".

Yeonjung no longer seemed so upset after the compliment and all that was left of that incident was Yoo Kihyun, her brother, who had picked a fight with Minhyuk for being so careless.

After that day, Hyungwon started watching Changkyun. His analysis had already started, as a matter of fact, but he was just another curious person like the rest of the school up to that moment. That free, gracious attitude by Changkyun had sparked his interest in a different way.

He was always quiet and diligent, he didn't talk much, but he always had big eyes watching the mess. Sometimes he smiled, sometimes he seemed to want to say something, to get closer. Hyungwon concluded that his loneliness was not exactly a choice, Changkyun just didn't know how to get out of his shell.

More than once, Hyungwon found himself thinking he was a lot like the newbie. Were it not for the fact that he knew those people from the cradle, perhaps he had no friends and could not open so easily. It should be hard to get to a place where everyone knows each other and you are the only stranger.

It had passed about two months before Hyungwon had the courage to suggest calling Changkyun to sit with them during the break. However, Jooheon took the lead to actually invite him. He was better with interactions, just like Minhyuk, and it was safer that they were the ones to bring up the subject and try to be friends with the boy.

It took just one day for the Lee brothers to get attached to Changkyun and start to greet him more cheerfully in the morning and call him to join the group during all the breaks. Changkyun was still kind of weird, they thought. He usually used difficult words and had a somewhat meaningless sense of humor, but they always found it funny nonetheless. He didn't really like to talk as much as the others, and sometimes all he did was stop quietly and watch someone else's conversation without saying anything at all.

During these moments, Hyungwon was the viewer, noting the details of Changkyun’s still childish face. He noticed the crooked haircut falling over his dark eyes, the curve of the hooked nose, the beautiful design of the red lips and the slightly angular features of his face.

Hyungwon noticed how Changkyun always gave a little bit of his own snack when he knew it was the favorite of some of the boys, how he never complained about sharing his things and always offered help without waiting for them to ask. Chae still didn't talk to Changkyun as much as Jooheon or Minhyuk did, but in short moments when they exchanged sentences, he was always kind.

It was during one of the breaks when no one left the classroom that that strange conversation began. It was a weird time of the year, when the weather changed all the time and who knows why the boys started comparing themselves to it. Minhyuk was always summer and sunny days, just like Jooheon. Kihyun, who had infiltrated the group just to continue his fights with Minhyuk, had divided opinions among the group. Hyungwon was spring or fall, the weather was always mild and peaceful.

But Changkyun was constantly compared to storms and cloudy days. Not that the boy didn't like the cold weather, but something told him that it didn't necessarily mean a good thing. Even though he was doing his best to fit in, Changkyun was still compared to coldness and that made him insecure again. He remained silent, keeping a warm smile on the desk by the window.

"What do you think, Hyungwon?" Minhyuk asked, smiling, because none of his answers were intended to be mean (except when it came to Kihyun, of course).

"About Changkyunnie?" the way he was called made Changkyun look in Chae's direction.

They didn't talk much, it was a fact. If the boys who had the most contact thought Changkyun was an icy station, he couldn't expect much from Hyungwon, but the nickname made him feel good. He was silent, waiting for the answer, expecting for another cloudy or stormy day.

But at that time and in that room, the light that came from outside bathed the entire Changkyun's small body. The curious eyes looked at him with deep interest and Hyungwon smiled.

"Changkyunnie is sunlight in the middle of winter," he replied, without a shadow of a doubt.

"Oh really?" Jooheon asked "Why?"

"He looks a little cold on the outside, but he is warm on the inside" he said, without looking away from Changkyun's shocked globes "He looks very serious, but he is always kind and careful even with his elders.  _ You are, for sure, a sunshine _ ".

Changkyun laughed, but he couldn't help blushing. Even with all the strange answers, that one seemed to have been worth much more. It made his young heart race, not knowing that his cheerful expression had had the same effect on the owner of those words.


	4. 03 - After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. I tried to update sooner but this week is insane uh?   
> Whatever, I'm here now and I hope you like it.  
> Enjoy <3

_ After _

_ \- Tell me why it has to be this way _

_ So much between the two of us _

The place chosen for the ceremony belonged to the Lee family.

As if the mansion alone was not enough, the territorial patrimony extended over a large green field full of orchards, gardens and ended at the lake's edge that cut across the entire city. They had suggested that they renovate the old barn to celebrate the wedding, but both grooms were not very pleased with the idea. It would be much better to be married in the garden; the photos in the late afternoon would look magnificent in that place.

The point was that, after insisting so much on this option, Kihyun seemed to be deeply concerned after one of his cousins talked about the possibility of climate change on the day of the ceremony, even exemplifying that a niece of a great friend had soaked her dress and her party guests because of a setback like that.

"The weather had been steady all week," she insisted "but on the day the skies just fell."

Desperate about the possibility of an unexpected storm, Minhyuk begged Hyungwon to go to the Yoo's residence, help him pick up some awnings to cover the party venue. Chae was not very excited by the prospect, but knowing that Minhyuk was nervous - and needing to deal with the other groom's nerves as well -, he gave in to his request, avoiding thinking about it too much before he gave up. After all, Hyungwon hadn't done his friend any favors for many years.

He had arrived in his own car at Minhyuk's residence, but he knew they would probably use the Lee family truck for that task. Hyungwon parked a little way from the entrance and walked the rest of the way to the facade where he saw the vehicle parked directly in front of the stairs.

Hyungwon believed that Minhyuk was about to cross the door, muttering and sighing with an irritated pout on his lips, asking to hurry up. Instead, the one who came out the front door was Jooheon, with his hair colored in a beautiful shade of orange, smiling at someone.

And that someone could only be  _ him _ .

The day was not cold, but Changkyun was wearing a gray sweatshirt over his white blouse. The dark pants were torn at the knees and the black cap covered almost all of his amused expression, but still, Hyungwon noticed it. Jooheon took a step back, only to wrap one of his arms around the youngest's shoulders and pulled him close, causing Changkyun to lower his face even further. The laughter did not die despite the embarrassment.

"Kihyun's level of desperation to let you drive ..." Jooheon started.

Changkyun leaned against the car door, his hands in his coat pockets while the younger Lee stopped right in front of him. Changkyun just kicked Jooheon's leg, but he was still smiling.

"I don't drive so badly".

"You almost managed to fall into the lake last time" Jooheon pointed out "And you were alone on the road".

The redhead played with the keys near Changkyun's face, who pushed the corner of his mouth with his tongue, clearly feeling affected by the provocation. Changkyun jumped on the other, but all he got was a loud laugh from Jooheon in response to his unsuccessful attempts to scale up his friend to get the keys.

"I won't break anything".

"And how do you guarantee me?" Jooheon provoked once again.

"I drive" Hyungwon finally approached, making the two look in his direction.

Changkyun's gaze fell hard on him, so intense that Hyungwon felt his shoulders heaving.

The day before, when they met in the living room of Lee's residence, Changkyun had been paralyzed for long minutes, unable to even verbalize a welcome wish. While Dong patted Hyungwon's broad, lean back, asking how things were going, his eyes still went back to Changkyun, who was twisting his shirt sleeves nervously, not knowing what to do.

When Chae finally managed to talk to him, cautiously and gently, Changkyun's dark eyes shone, as if they were teary. All that escaped his beautiful lips was a stammered response as his feet moved back to the door. He even hit his back on the wall before managing to say goodbye in the middle of a nervous and embarrassed laugh and then left, leaving the rest of those present not knowing what to say to undo the atmosphere.

After that astonished reception, Chae did not stay long at his friend's house. He had only spoken to Minhyuk during the night, when he poured out Hyungwon all the problems of that day without giving him a chance to ask why Changkyun seemed so shocked to see him.

_ After all, Minhyuk told him that Changkyun wanted his return. _

He left his frustration aside for his own good, but meeting Changkyun again,  _ so close _ to Jooheon, brought all the dubious taste back to the palate. Something easily dismissed compared to the heat in his chest and the cold in his stomach from being face to face with him again.

"Ah, Hyungwon" Jooheon hurried to the other, hugging him tight.

And the correspondence to the gesture was automatic,  _ because Hyungwon loved Jooheon. _ A smile appeared on his thick lips when Hyungwon felt the tightness around his neck.

"I couldn't see you yesterday" Jooheon grunted, letting a disgusted expression take on his features "Minhyuk is turning my life into hell. Every day I have something to do".

"It will end up soon,  _ jagiya _ " he replied affectionately and Jooheon smiled wide when he heard the nickname.

"I missed you" he hugged Hyungwon again before remembering Changkyun's presence there. "I'm glad you came, by the way. Because I won't be able to go with Kyunnie to get the damn awnings and I really didn't want to let him drive the truck".

"I already said I don't drive that badly," Changkyun protested softly.

"You have no voice here, boy," Jooheon said between laughs, because he was really trying to provoke.

" _ Changkyunnie _ must have improved since I moved" he looked at the youngest, hoping he would face him back;  _ and he did _ "But I can do this favor for today".

Once the eyes finally met, it was almost impossible to break the connection. Without a word, an intense current of feelings passed between their eyes. Any attempt to express such feelings, however, made no sense.

Jooheon gave the keys in Hyungwon's hands and said goodbye at the entrance. He asked if Hyungwon still knew where the Yoo's home was, receiving a nod from Chae and after that, there was only Hyungwon driving and Changkyun on the passenger's seat, both silent, hearing only the sound of the dirt where the wheels passed.

The ride was not that long, so there was no time for them to say anything, especially when Changkyun turned on the radio trying to fill the silence. Out of the corner of his eye, Hyungwon could watch Changkyun turn his face to the window, embarrassed. His fingers tightened on the sleeves of his shirt, as he always did when he was nervous.

_ It was the second time that the silence between them was uncomfortable. _

The time had passed too quickly and, still without a word directly exchanged, Hyungwon and Changkyun attached the awnings to the truck with some difficulty - even though they had received help from Mr. Yoo. The man still insisted that they should take a bag of grapes because they had had a good harvest and, still reluctantly, Changkyun accepted.

Back in the vehicle, with the fruit between them, Hyungwon wondered if he should let that mood last. Although it was not like him to take that kind of initiative, he felt he haven’t no choice.

"I thought you liked grapes," was what he said about the almost inaudible sound of the radio that was losing frequency.

Changkyun's face turned to him immediately, adjusting the brim of his cap.

"I don't want to eat right now," he replied.

"Refusing grapes" Hyungwon gave a nasal laugh "I certainly didn't expect that".

Changkyun pulled a loose thread from the tear in his pants at the knee and rolled the index finger tight.

"We're even, then," he muttered. "There are a lot of things I certainly wasn't expecting."

Hyungwon looked at him quickly, trying to catch on his face, but Changkyun was still turned towards the window and Hyungwon needed to pay attention to the road. He felt his heart racing, uneasy at that slightest interaction.

Although he still felt that same accurate and impertinent tone of Changkyun, mixed with his natural shyness, there was a wall between them, built solidly for many years.

_ Eight years, to be exact. _

Silence reigned in the vehicle again until they were back to Lee's property. Hyungwon continued driving to the back of the house, receiving help from Changkyun to get all the stuff out of the truck and place it near the ceremony site.

"Is anyone going to set it up?" Chae asked.

"The ornamentation team will probably do it, but I don't doubt that Mrs. Dior makes us work anyway" Changkyun replied, crossing the fingers of one hand on another while stretching like a cat.

Hyungwon watched his tired expression, imagining that he must have been putting up with a lot more since that wedding was announced. And as the person he was, he probably never complained or hesitated to offer help.

"Did you see the proposal?" Chae asked, still anxious to continue the matter "The marriage proposal, I mean".

Inevitably, a smile formed on Changkyun's face.

"The day of the nightmare. Yes, I did" shook his head "I thought Minhyuk hyung was going to freak out".

"It was to be expected that he would take some stupid attitude" he returned "Leaving the wedding ring with the baby niece..."

"Kihyun fought with him because he said she could have swallowed it" Changkyun laughed more "Only after they found it they made up".

"I wish I saw that," he said, without thinking.

And instinctively, Changkyun's dark eyes held on to his for endless seconds until they strayed to the floor. The pretty mouth being heavily bitten, as if he was holding on to say nothing wrong.

“I ... I didn't even think you would be here now” he shrugged, still not looking at Hyungwon, because he really didn't know how the other one would interpret that sentence “After you left things had changed a lot”.

"How?" The question was genuinely curious.

_ Hyungwon was dying to hear everything Changkyun had to say. _

"Well, Kihyun and Minhyuk went to university and started spending a lot of time together. I started helping my mom with sales, but then I managed to graduate too, along with Jooheon" replied, a little lost on what to say.

A lot had happened during those years.

"You guys got really close, didn't you?" Hyungwon could not avoid the comment.

"Yes" Changkyun confirmed "We were the only singles left".

A dull smile took on the beautiful features and Hyungwon sighed as he smiled back. The weight of the words falling on Chae, aware that during those eight years, like himself, Changkyun lived a whole life where he was not present. Where they did not belong to each other and there was no such familiar and customary warmth that involved them during their adolescence.

_ Those were just memories. _

"It's so ... Unexpected to have everyone together again" Changkyun continued, looking hesitant to look up, his fingers still playing with his coat sleeve.

"Are you happy?" Hyungwon asked and only then Changkyun took the courage to face him "Because we are all together? Because…"

The question was not completed, but Changkyun could understand it.  _ Was he happy that Hyungwon was back? _

Changkyun opened his mouth and closed a few times, as if looking for an answer, but the right words seemed to run from his mind as he met Hyungwon's anxious eyes. 

_ And everything always became such a mess when he looked into those eyes. _

"You came back" Kihyun's voice yelled in the distance, taking both of them out of the bubble they had entered.

They saw the boy in the distance, waving energetically, asking if they had managed to bring everything and Changkyun hurried to confirm. Without waiting for an offer, Yoo asked them to return to the house, as they were in need of help inside.

Hyungwon sighed heavily, knowing that his conversation with Changkyun was over. The youngest, in fact, gave in to the order without even hesitating. He looked at Hyungwon for a moment before making his way slowly back to the mansion, being followed suitably by Chae.

However, in the back door, knowing that they would hardly see each other again during that day, Changkyun stopped.

"I am" he said in a low, deep voice  _ "I'm glad you're back, hyung" _ .

Changkyun didn't wait for an answer after that. He just hurried into the house, leaving Hyungwon completely filled with the purest and most stunning warmth.

  
  



	5. 04 - Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey  
> I'm sorry it took so long to update, but I'm here now  
> I'm really insecure about the translate in this chap, so if you see something wrong like MY EYES MY EYES, please, tell me.  
> I hope you like it and if you wanna drop a comment I'll be really happy  
> Ok enough  
> Enjoy <3

_ Before _

_ \- I know that just looking at me, you already know _

_ what i keep inside me _

Hyungwon had been acting differently for some time now.

Since the first time he praised the youngest so openly in his group of friends, Chae just couldn't seem to stop. Realizing that he didn't receive any negative reaction from Changkyun, Hyungwon felt excited, believing that this would lead him to approach Changkyun as he wanted from the very beginning. In fact, when Hyungwon's opinions and ramblings about Changkyun were exposed, the boy seemed a little more comfortable in his presence.

Now they sat side by side more often during breaks, Hyungwon discovered that the texture of Changkyun's hair was very soft and stopped holding himself back when he wanted to caress it. He started to offer his favorite snacks regularly and, thanks to this, Hyungwon discovered an even more adorable side of his  _ dongsaeng _ .

Changkyun liked the attention and affection, his cheeks always turned red when Hyungwon praised him and he gave a small, embarrassed but satisfied smile. He used to open his mouth to receive the portions of food that Hyungwon offered instead of picking them up on his own and, from time to time, allowed himself to rest his head on Hyungown’s shoulder.

Over time, that interaction became so common among them, that it became a custom among everyone.

The fact that Changkyun felt so at ease with Chae made him a little more confident about his real nature. After receiving so much affection from that friendship, he was no longer so afraid of looking weird to the other guys. His insecurities had not abandoned him, but they gave him a long period of respite, allowing Changkyun to come out of his shell and show his most intimate and warm faces.

However, while Changkyun felt perfectly good about being able to express himself more freely, Hyungwon felt more and more like just someone ordinary in the youngest's life. Just one more of his friends, with nothing to differentiate him from Minhyuk or Jooheon, not even from Kihyun, who came up just to continue his incessant discussions with the eldest Lee.

_ And Hyungwon really wanted to be special for Changkyun. _

The face that initially rested on his shoulder seeking affection, now also did the same on everyone else's shoulders. The adorably embarrassed smiles were directed at several other people who, unassumingly, praised him.

Seeing Changkyun's happy expression made him happy too, of course. From the beginning, he was sure that Changkyun wanted to create those bonds of friendship with his colleagues without actually having that opportunity. However, knowing that he had returned to the position of “ordinary friend”, like any other, left him deeply frustrated.

Hyungwon wanted to be, once again, the one who made Changkyun happier than everyone else.  _ He wanted to mean more in Changkyun's heart _ .

Although he understood that common and recurring affections were no longer enough, Hyungwon had never admitted, even to himself, what that meant. He limited himself to looking for that exclusive corner in Changkyun's heart in his own way, accompanying him on the way home, buying sweets whenever he had the opportunity - and when he had something left over from his allowance. He made silly excuses to meet him in the afternoon and hoped that Minhyuk would not find out, because when it happened, all the boys would get together and Changkyun ended up paying more attention to the loudest friends.

That afternoon, however, Hyungwon had managed to outsmart the oldest Lee and his constant calls to play video games. Changkyun was helping his mother with picking strawberries at the back yard and Chae, even though he arrived at his house by surprise, did not hesitate to offer his help.

They were both barefoot, carrying the baskets with their red-stained hands. The sunlight reflected in the lake that ran at the back of the property made the entire scenario glowing gold over red and green.

Changkyun released the basket for a few moments, stretching his thin, small body to rest for a while. The head fell back and the eyes closed, while the fingers soiled the white blouse. Hyungwon watched every detail of the scene as if every little point was part of a big show that he couldn't miss a second of.

"Tired?" he asked, also dropping the basket and going to the smaller one.

Changkyun did not reply. He just opened one eye, with a sly expression and waited for the other to come over to give him the affection on the back of his neck that he liked so much. He was correct, of course. 

Hyungwon's long fingers found the sweaty strands of his neck immediately after his approach. A small smile formed on Chae's handsome face when he noticed the youngest close his eyes again to enjoy the caress and in that moment, while looking at him so closely and with his eyes shut, Hyungwon stared at his mouth.

It was not the first time that he had noticed the beautiful design of those lips or how red and soft they looked. However, it was the first time that he let his mind wander a little further, with a will hitherto unknown, but incredibly strong.

The fingers were lost in the dark strands, leaving that affection a little more intense and Changkyun finally opened his eyes. He was waiting to find Hyungwon's calm glance staring at him, along with the mild and gentle smile he always gave him, but he was wrong.

In front of him, Changkyun saw a heavy look and an expression so serious that he was startled. Hyungwon was deeply focused on every detail of his face, so close that Changkyun had no reaction but to feel his cheeks warm up immediately.

"Hyung" he called, without purpose.

He just wanted him to get out of that torpor, tell him what he was thinking and why he was looking at him that way. However, courage did not reach his speech and all he did was wait for Chae's eyes to focus on his own.

When the looks connected, in fact, that whole feeling got even stronger. Because Hyungwon and Changkyun were very similar. And there were endless things that seemed to make sense to them when they didn't make it to anyone else.

So, when Hyungwon allowed his mouth to break the distance between him and Changkyun, leaving only a short, awkward little seal on those red lips, Hyungwon understood what was the answer to the question that he ignored in his mind.

"Why did you do it?" Changkyun's question was just a whisper.

But Hyungwon did not respond. He just smiled and continued with the soft caress on the back of his neck because they didn't need words at that moment. Just as he, one day, had understood the yearnings in the heart of the youngest, he was sure.

_ Changkyun knew how to read all his heart's desires too. _

  
  
  
  
  



	6. 05 - After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey babies  
> I'm here AGAIN  
> Please let me know if you're liking it, my heart is open for feedbacks I promise  
> Hope you like it  
> Enjoy <3

_ After _

_ \- There's something in your eyes that make me fall apart _

_ but you and I know what is the result of this equation _

Yoo Kihyun's family was spread across the country, and even outside of it.

Although his parents and paternal grandparents still lived in Mulbang-ul, sharing the property of the Yoo family, there were a considerable number of uncles, cousins and grandchildren about to arrive in the small town for Kihyun's wedding ceremony.

When the boy came out in front of his family, at fifteen, the first to understand and accept him was his grandmother. Kihyun’s younger sister was still too young to understand what was going on in her house, even though she knew something was wrong. However, the Yoo family matriarch was the main channel of communication between Kihyun and his parents when things became awkward between them and it took a few weeks of insistence for the installed mood to dissipate. The result was a deep collective cry and tight hugs while, once again, they've validated the obvious among all of them: they loved each other, no matter what.

However, for many other relatives, that reality was still abnormal. There were several murmurs and nasty comments about Kihyun and Minhyuk's relationship when they started dating. Not that they actually cared too much about it, but when the wedding was confirmed, Yoo couldn't stop himself from inviting even the most unsympathetic relatives thinking about his grandmother who was already old and might not have another opportunity to revisit some of the grandchildren and children who had left the city.

Minhyuk loved him for that, for his boundless consideration, even on a date that was supposed to be primarily meaningful for both of them. However, as family festivities are never as smooth as they should be, they were experiencing a new stalemate.

One of his cousins, refusing to attend the wedding, not only made up a last-minute excuse for not being there but dragged his younger sister on a trip, even though he knew that Kihyun had chosen the girl as one of the maid of honor. Now, with a few days to go before the ceremony, the couple were in a heated discussion about what they should do about it.

"I will not leave Changgie out as best man" Kihyun insisted impatiently, "We spoke to him months ago".

And in fact, Minhyuk also had no intention of leaving the boy out just because he didn't have a pair. For this reason, Lee was walking on a dangerous surface again, even if it was with good intentions. Even though he had done some actions on his own in that last month, he could get rid of the burden of guilt at that moment, since he was, in fact, desperate for help.

Hyungwon had agreed to meet him in the morning - even if it wasn't that early - and they talked while Minhyuk monitored the mansion's assistants setting up the awnings over the ornamentation space. Hyungwon heard him complain and lose focus on his daydreams about everything that had gone wrong up to that point, but his attention was captured only by a phrase lost in the middle of that monologue.

"I wish you were Kyunnie's partner, since that betrayer cousin won't come anymore, but I know you don't like that kind of thing and…"

"Pardon?" Hyungwon interrupted, asking him to repeat.

"I didn't invite you as a best man before because I didn't even know if you would come" he sighed in the middle of the explanation and Chae understood that perfectly "We had already arranged everything, Yejin would join together with Changkyun, we had already agreed. But she won't come anymore and..."

"Do you want me to go ... With him?"

Minhyuk clasped his hands in front of his body, making a cute expression.

"If it's not asking too much".

"And have you talked to him about it?"

"Well…" he played with his fingers, a little anxious "Not yet, but I don't think he will refuse".

_ Of course he wouldn't! _ Hyungwon knew Changkyun well enough to know that he would never object to a request like that knowing all the stress the couple had been going through.

"You ‘think’ many things, Minhyuk" he said, without looking at him. "You thought it would be a good idea to tell me that Changkyun wanted me to come back, when I know he had no idea about it".

Minhyuk opened his eyes wide, opening and closing his mouth in an attempt to defend himself, but what escaped his lips was a clumsy question instead.

"Did he say anything?"

"I'm not an idiot. He seemed to have seen a ghost when he met me and has been running away from me for the past few days".

And, in fact, even though Changkyun did not show any aversion to his return, it was clear that he did not know exactly how to deal with that information, neither with his presence. Since their last longest conversation, Hyungwon had not spent even a minute alone with the youngest, merely greeting him when the boy hurried past him, always busy with something related to that ceremony.

"I didn't lie" Minhyuk said at last "I knew he wanted you to come back since you left, that's just what I told you, it's not a lie"

"There are many issues, Minhyuk" Hyungwon concluded, sighing "But it's not time to talk about it. Talk to him first and see if it's okay for us to get in together. Then we decide the rest".

Lee agreed, accepting his friend's silence regarding that matter and, again, the concern returned to the details of the ceremony.

***

Changkyun was sitting on one of the tall stools in Lee's kitchen.

His legs moved back and forth as he repeated the response he had given Minhyuk inside his own head.

" _ Sure, hyung _ ".

How could he deny such a desperate request with only a few days to go before the wedding ceremony? He wouldn't be able to be so selfish and compromise the happiest day in the life of two of the people he loved the most for such a personal reason. A reason that should have been properly overcome after so many years.

_ The reason that now passed through the kitchen door and stole his air without doing anything but exist. _

Hyungwon walked in the same calm way as always, but he seemed afraid when he recognized Changkyun's presence. He took slow steps into the room, feeling at home as he used to do in his adolescence and opening the refrigerator to get something to drink. He even offered Changkyun, but the smaller one denied it, lowering his head and biting his lip in a clear sign of nervousness.

One part of him really wanted to escape,  _ but the other part just wanted to stay with him for as long as possible. _

"Did Minhyuk talk to you?" Chae asked, leaning on the bench next to Changkyun "About…"

Changkyun nodded.

"And ... Are you all right?"

"Yes" he scratched the back of his neck and gave a small, embarrassed smile "It's not a big deal. I didn't even know his cousin. But you were called at the last minute, so..."

"Don't worry" he smiled too, drinking some juice and dropping the glass on the counter "I don't think it'll be that hard".

"And won't. We'll just go in there and sit in special places near the altar while those two exchange mushy phrases in front of the peace judge and cry" Changkyun laughed a little more openly.

"The tacky speech of enemies who become lovers" Hyungwon smiled too.

"And the cliché part of the oaths and until death do us part".

"Yes, the vows ..." Hyungwon covered his mouth with his hands to hide his smile, letting his body hang a little more towards the youngest and, without noticing, his eyes locked again, in the same naturally magnetic way that they remembered.

The smile became smaller as Hyungwon watched more closely all the changes in that face and felt himself being analyzed in the same way. And within that look, that first contact so close and permissive since he had returned, there were so many unspoken words, so many unfinished subjects. There were still so many desperate feelings locked in the prisons where they were placed.

"… I love you" Hyungwon said in a low voice, still with his eyes fixed on Changkyun.

And those little dark globes opened in total shock, waiting for a conclusion. That expression so confused and desperate,  _ so ready to retreat _ was absolutely known for Chae. So he gave him a resolution, as he seemed to wish.

"They will say that too" forced a lighter smile "That they love each other".

Changkyun took a deep breath and blew it out, letting out an embarrassed laugh. He felt his hands tremble and his heart racing, as he was at the height of his passionate adolescence. Those used to be distant memories, where he could taste each little gesture, knowing that the result would always be the same because all the responses of his body, heart and soul were predictable when it came to Chae.

But now those memories burned hard in his body and mind because he was right there. And although the words were always strong,  _ it was Hyungwon's gaze that had the power to completely break him. _

  
  
  
  
  



	7. 06 - Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEEEY  
> Today we have a "before" chapter again so be prepared for some sugar  
> If you're liking it, let me know, please. Your feedback is important  
> Hope you like it  
> Enjoy <3

_ Before _

_ \- If we're just friends, why don't I feel this way? _

It had been at least two weeks since Changkyun had been alone in the same place as Hyungwon.

Although the boy showed no aversion to the contact they had in the middle of the strawberry field and had smiled and said a warm goodbye to Chae that day, something was different. Sometimes, Hyungwon caught the other boy staring at him - because he himself couldn't keep his eyes off the youngest for a long time - but he dodged quickly, failing to hide his flushed cheeks.

Changkyun had made excuses during those days about being busy with schoolwork and even agreed to be pushed around in Minhyuk's jokes because he knew he would monopolize all of his time.

That way, he wouldn't have to face Hyungwon anytime soon because the youngest still wasn't sure how to act in his presence.

After the eldest had left his home that afternoon, Changkyun mulled over that brief moment exchanged between them all night. He answered questions asked by his mother during dinner automatically, without paying the slightest attention and returned to his own room very early, after taking a shower and removing the soil stains from his body.

Changkyun had never kissed anyone at the height of his thirteen and all he knew about it was what the older boys said. Minhyuk liked to brag about kissing a third year girl, but he never said her name, and sometimes Changkyun wondered if it was really true or if he just wanted to tease Kihyun and make it look like he did something Yoo still hadn't.

Even though he hadn't experienced that - until that afternoon, at least - Changkyun knew very well that kisses were given by people who like each other in a different way. Who see themselves as  _ more than just friends. _ And two things started to torment him that night around that simple event.

The first is that it never crossed his mind that  _ maybe  _ his hyung saw him in that most special way. Hyungwon was so beautiful and so popular with students, even though he spoke so little. He was always in a calm, uncluttered spirit, so confident and even a little distant from those outside his circle of friends, that Changkyun struggled seeing him being interested or falling in love with someone.

He had a beautiful and fun smile that always made Changkyun want to smile too. He was always careful with him, the whole time filling the youngest with affection in every possible way and Changkyun felt absolutely grateful and happy whenever he was around. He felt a pleasant agitation whenever he came by surprise at his home and gave him some candy, or when he accompanied him on the way home. It was nice even when they were silent and, as a ritual, the youngest waited for the affection on the back of his neck and the long-fingered hands caressed the irregular strands of his dark hair.

Changkyun always felt the heat burning on his skin and spreading throughout his body, admitting that that feeling was entirely brotherly, because Hyungwon was just an absolutely loving hyung to whom he was so grateful.

And that first thought triggered a second.

Because it was strange to imagine that Hyungwon was interested in him that way, but he had not allowed himself to believe that he himself felt that way about the eldest. And although it didn't make any sense, Changkyun was much more concerned with that possibility than with the first.

If he rejected Chae Hyungwon, it probably wouldn't make him feel so bad, he thought, because he was  _ just  _ Changkyun. However, to think that deep down he had been nurturing stronger feelings for the older boy all that time was frightening, because that kiss, just as it could have meant something, could also have been nothing at all.

And even if that possibility didn't even exist a few hours ago, thinking about his hyung's rejection hurted a lot. And that made him even more desperate.

Because Changkyun caught himself wishing Hyungwon would touch his lips again and the chance that it wouldn't happen made him absolutely sad and empty. The prospect that that kiss  _ meant nothing _ to Hyungwon left him terribly tense and insecure.

So Changkyun didn't want to be alone with him, or even talk about it. Perhaps it was better to wait until that contact was not so alive in his own memory and did not make him so disconcerted by the mere presence of Hyungwon. When they had forgotten that, they could go back to acting as usual, without their thoughts wandering so wildly in such unknown ways.

Changkyun was successful for two long weeks and really believed that he had won that little battle when Sunday afternoon came and, with it, Hyungwon's visit. Chae smiled at him at the front door, looking as calm as ever, carrying a large package of candy in his big hands and greeted Mrs. Grace before he even managed to get inside. The woman, oblivious to what was going on in Changkyun's mind, asked him to come in at once and offered a piece of pie that she had prepared that morning.

Although Hyungwon's visits were frequent, Changkyun did not bother to extend his lame excuses to Sundays, because most of the inhabitants of that city were in the only nearby church and returned to their houses to spend the day religiously with their family. Although Grace was not religious, Changkyun found himself more than once interested in visiting the place and spending the afternoon with family of friends too, because it seemed fun to hear the stories that the Lee brothers told during Mondays about what they had done on weekends.

For that reason, having Hyungwon breaking that rite appearing at his door had left him in deep shock and started a short circuit in his head. There would be no escape if he wanted to talk about  _ that _ .

His small hands tightened on the hem of his shirt when he asked Hyungwon to enter and the older boy noticed his behavior, deciding to place a hand on his shoulder in a loving way. Changkyun, for the first time, allowed himself to notice how much his heart fluttered with that simple contact and looked away quickly, feeling his face heat up.

Both of them went to the kitchen first, to eat the pie prepared by Grace, and Chae made lots of polite compliments to the woman, who stroked the boy's dark strands in gratitude. She offered some more, but Hyungwon had recently had lunch, so he kindly refused and the two boys went to the back of the house, locking themselves in the youngest's room.

They were really alone now and Changkyun sat on his own bed, bringing his legs up on the mattress, still escaping the other's gaze.

"I didn't think you were coming, hyung" he commented so quietly, that Hyungwon hardly heard.

"I missed you" he replied while sitting on the bed too "We haven't spent much time together these days".

Changkyun bit his lip, tempted to apologize, but he knew it would sound strange. He waited in silence until Hyungwon came a little closer and touched one of his little toes.

"Are you mad at me?" Hyungwon asked.

"What? No" he replied, his eyes widening "Of course not".

"You have been so busy  _ just after I kissed you _ " he said through a disconcerted smile "I thought you were upset".

"I'm not upset" he said again softly, without looking into the other's eyes, clasping his hands around his knees "I'm just ... Confused ... I think".

Hyungwon tilted his head to the side, searching in his face for the reason he was so distant.

"Confused about what?"

"About ... About the kiss" unlike Chae, who said that word so casually, Changkyun practically whispered it, like a secret.

"Didn't you like it?"

"It's not that" pulled the bangs, trying to hide his face "I was just confused by the reason you did it, hyung".

He did not receive an immediate response, and so he looked up. What he found was the brown eyes staring back at him with such intensity that he had to swallow dry. He did not understand his expression, but he felt compelled to conclude his doubt.

"I don't understand" started still whispering "Hyung must have kissed other people, but I ... I don't. And I didn't think I was going to have my first kiss with a friend. The more I think about it, the more I feel confused because we kiss people we like in a special way, but I also feel happy" he pressed his fingers together again, before moistening his lips " _ Because you are special to me, hyung. _ So thanks for doing this for me, even if it didn't mean the same thing to you".

Hyungwon listened until the end, chuckling when he concluded, averting his face to stare at a blank spot on the walls of Changkyun's room. He took a long breath and disarmed his posture as soon as he released it, looking at the younger again.

"What are we, Changkyunnie?" he asked, just as carefully as ever.

Changkyun felt his chin quiver at that question.

"Friends," he whispered.

"Then why don't I feel this way?"

The younger boy's breath was suspended for endless seconds when Chae sought his eyes again. That same look had been directed at him that afternoon, in the backyard, and Changkyun was certain in that exchange that the feelings Hyungwon carried were absolutely intense. However, thinking about it too much for the next few hours and days made him feel insecure again.

He didn't have an answer for Hyungwon, because a part of him was afraid of losing that friendship after such a blunt question, but another part had understood that question _ very well _ . Because even though there weren't too many words between them, it wasn't like they needed them to make themselves understood.

Hyungwon's big hand reached for his and pulled gently until Changkyun's palm rested on his chest. Changkyun stared at that place, completely surprised and ecstatic to feel Hyungwon's frantic heartbeat and turned to see his serious face. Hyungwon looked so calm on the outside,  _ but inside was a mess _ .

"You make me this way all the time" he said softly "And I kissed you because I like you. _ I really like you _ . Very much".

Changkyun pursed his lips, tempted to smile after that statement. The bad thoughts were carried away, just as he had felt after that first unassuming compliment in the classroom, and how he always felt when he showed how much he cared about Changkyun. He wanted to thank him for having once again end his insecurities, as he always did without even realizing it, but he just intertwined his fingers with Hyungwon's, pulling him a little closer. The older boy's free hand reached up to touch his cheek and stroked the reddened area with his thumb before smiling at him.

"I really want to kiss you again" he spoke softly and Changkyun finally allowed himself to smile.

"I also want you to kiss me, hyung".

Hyungwon smiled back, touching their noses before allowing their mouths to come together again, now differently from that day, in the middle of a strawberry plantation. The thick lips lingered on Changkyun's, feeling the texture more carefully and sliding more willingly, urging them to fit. It was still quiet and naive, a discovery as sweet as those in the untouched package lying on Changkyun's bed. Maybe even more.

And all that afternoon, they took advantage of all that sugar.

  
  
  
  
  



	8. 07 - After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey  
> I tried to come yesterday, but I couldn't. But I'm here now.  
> Hope you like it, babies. Let me know  
> Enjoy <3

_After_

_\- But you come back to my heart even if I don't want you here (...)_

_(...) Forgetting you is impossible and you know how hard I tried_

Mrs. Chae had tidied up Hyungwon's room as thoroughly as she used to do when he was still a boy. He could still find his belongings in the exact places he remembered after the woman patiently unpacked and organized everything in its proper place a few days ago.

On his study table, now with old school books, rested a shallow plate full of snacks and a glass of orange juice beside him. Next to the food, Hyungwon's computer was open in a video call with Hoseok, a friend he had made in his modeling life in Paris.

"Enjoying the time off?" The older man's beautiful face carried a big smile as he stared at him through the screen.

"I wish I did," Hyungwon smiled back. "My friend and his groom are enslaving the entire city because of the wedding".

Hoseok laughed, amused by Hyungwon's disgusted expression. _Mainly because he knew it was false._

"Did you meet _him_?" he asked, curious.

Hyungwon sighed, drumming his fingers on the wood of the table. He had told Hoseok about Changkyun on one of his drinking nights, when the longing was almost unbearable. After a few years, he had learned to deal better with that feeling, but he would lie if he said that he had overcome everything or that, even in recent times, he had not asked himself if Changkyun's phone number was still the same.

The proof of his weakness was that he returned immediately after a single sentence from Minhyuk in that email.

Lee Hoseok was an excellent professional and co-worker, as well as an absolutely kind and understanding person. Perhaps because of this selfless and caring side, Hyungwon allowed himself to be involved with him for a short time, until he realized that his heart could not be given to anyone else.

_He had already given it to Changkyun and was still with him, even though he was far away._

That did not stop them from building a friendship that lasted for many years. Hyungwon was even the bridge that connected Hoseok to his current boyfriend, Hyunwoo, who would probably appear at any time during that call.

"I did," Hyungwon replied, simplistically.

"And how was it?" he tried to be cautious while continuing his questions "Is he ... single?"

"Apparently" smiled a little "But it's complicated. Too much time has passed".

"And will you let pass more?" the question sounded a little impatient "I don't know what you expect, Wonnie. I've known you for a few years and this guy has always been present in everything you did. I don't think it's such a difficult conclusion. _You love him_ ".

"But I'm not sure how he feels" he concluded, defeated "When I asked, _I just received silence"_.

"Say it again, then" he insisted "Don't leave without making sure you did everything you could, Hyungwon. Don't make that mistake again. If you believe that he really feels that way, then _get him to talk_ ".

Hyungwon did not respond immediately, just nodding until he heard the sound in the background. Hyunwoo had arrived and all Hyungwon saw was the figure of the two strong men hugging each other, listening to a loving kiss. He excused himself, provoking his friends about being so sticky even in front of other people, but they only laughed in response and after more brief minutes exchanging the little news that those days kept, they said goodbye.

Hyungwon finished with the snack before going to bed. It was late and his mind was working at full speed. The fabric of the sheets was familiar, as were the designs on the walls. He felt overwhelmed by the memories, lost in the expressions etched in his memory where, Chae was sure, Changkyun felt the same as he did, even though his compressed lips had never confirmed.

But after all those years, he concluded that his mistake was to interrupt himself at the glimpse of the first obstacle that seemed too big.

***

If the Lee house looked crowded during the week, that Thursday was impassable.

Not only were some of Minhyuk's closest relatives visiting the house, as on other days, but all the honored guests, maid of honors, groomsmen, ladies and pages were roaming the grounds in the late afternoon. It was the last wedding rehearsal and Kihyun was visibly nervous, although he tried to stay focused. Yeonjung had returned to the city and her presence had the miraculous effect of reassuring her brother for the fifty minutes late, while Minhyuk was dedicated to calling the children running around the property. They were terribly bored by having to wait, so the lake and the damp land around it seemed to have an adventure much more fun than waiting under the awnings, behaving as their parents wanted. Lee then devoted himself to trying to distract them and prevent them from doing something stupid, since their parents, mostly cousins and classmates from school, put things up to date after adult life had driven them away.

This was the case with Hyungwon, for example. After so many years away, seeing Lee and Yoo's relatives was nostalgic, even those he didn't know very well. His closest friends were limited to a select group, but in that city everyone knew each other and it was impossible to get rid of that familiarity even if a good part of those people no longer lived in Mulbang-ul.

So it was easy for Changkyun to stay away for a long time, staying close to Jooheon in that endless wait. And even when Chae managed to get rid of the invasive questions about what he was doing with his life and joined the younger ones, having the three together prevented the mood from being weird.

When the ceremonialist finally arrived, the incessant buzz was all that could be heard. Kihyun screamed a few times after repeated instructions were not understood, but apologized when Olivia, Minhyuk and Jooheon's niece, started to cry. She would take the rings and was now completely unwell.

Jooheon and Yeonjung were the first to enter and a long line of couples stretched out behind them. Embarrassed, Hyungwon and Changkyun took their places, walking at the correct speed, taking breaks at specific places indicated by the professional, where some pictures would be taken. They went to the right side, sitting on chairs already separated and decorated for the occasion and everything seemed so easy, that it was at least irritating to have to repeat that same task at least four times. Fortunately, Olivia stopped crying after winning a candy from a guilty Kihyun and agreed to enter the corridor to deliver the rings - similar to the ones she had once taken to the stable.

The rehearsal ended later than expected and it was up to the qualified ones to take everyone home or to the inns they occupied. Although Dior was quite dramatic in denying her hospitality, everyone knew that the grooms already had enough problems to still have to deal with so many guests. So, after they had organized themselves in the best possible way to take everyone away, only Minhyuk, Hyungwon and Changkyun remained at Lee's house.

The youngest offered to pack some things with Dior outside, and Chae spent those minutes listening to his best friend regret how tiring it was.

"I'm happy that Yeonjung arrived" he commented, thrown on the sofa in the living room "I think Kihyun will be able to vent with her better than with me. He's so nervous".

"It will pass" Hyungwon replied, serenely "As soon as you go on your honeymoon".

Minhyuk gave a hoarse, somewhat mischievous laugh and then rubbed his face.

"Aren't you going home?" despite the choice of words, the blonde's question was not coarse "If you want to stay ..."

"I'm waiting for Changkyun" he replied as he shook his head "It’s late. I don't want him to come home alone".

"Oh" he let his legs dangle, clearly more interested in the subject "Did you ... Talk again?"

'Yes" it was short "But about nothing that can cheer you up".

'If you are going to wait for him today, then please bring me some good news" he smiled, again slyly "As a wedding gift".

"Your wedding gift is big, expensive and arrived before _I_ even arrived".

"Ah, Wonnie. Do yourself a favor and put that pride aside. That was a long time ago ..."

"I want to, Min" interrupted him "But I can't do everything alone. _I couldn't before and I can't now'._

Minhyuk sighed and the conversation ended when Changkyun and Dior entered the room. The woman asked, just as her son had done minutes before, if Hyungwon would spend the night at their home, but Chae gave her the same answer, leaving Changkyun slightly surprised. 

The youngest carried two large boxes, one on top of the other - Mrs. Lee's gifts - and waved a nervous goodbye, stuttering in a few words when he realized he was being followed by Hyungwon. He looked even more lost when the model took one of the boxes from his hands and led it towards his car.

Unable to deny the ride, Changkyun accompanied the older man to the vehicle and placed the objects in the trunk, heading towards the passenger seat next. He murmured a thank you in a low voice, followed by a “no need to worry”, but Hyungwon didn't seem to care.

The path was quiet at first, but at some point Chae took the initiative to ask how Mrs Grace was and Changkyun promptly answered.

"She is great" gave a light smile "More at ease since the Lees offered a partnership for our land".

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, we now have employees to help with the harvest and she is more financially secure. It is a relief" he commented between laughter "We don't need to roll on the ground as before".

"I liked to do that with you".

Changkyun licked his lips and swallowed his laughter, looking outside the window. He couldn't stop himself from blushing when he remembered _everything_ they had done in his own garden, as well as in the lake that cut the back of his property. He rubbed his palms together, preferring to remain silent from there.

Only when they arrived in front of Changkyun's residence, going to the trunk to pick up the boxes, Hyungwon allowed himself to speak again.

"Sorry" he said sincerely "I didn't want to embarrass you".

"That's not it ... It's just ..."

Changkyun fell silent, dropping the box on the floor with a little less care than he should and, more slowly, Hyungwon did the same. The eldest stared at the other in front of him; dark, skinny pants, gray sweatshirt, black hair ruffled by the wind that hit them that night.

"What is it?" he asked quietly.

"You don't make things easier, Hyungwon" replied, staring at the button on the shirt of the tallest, without being able to look him in the eye "You don't make it easy at all".

"And what should I facilitate?" questioned again, daring to approach another step.

To his surprise and complete delight, _Changkyun did not move away._

"You ..." He let out a heavy breath "Confuses me saying things like that after all"

"Ask me, then" he said, gently reaching out to touch the boy's arm "I can be clearer if you want".

"Hyungwon" the name came out of his lips like a secret, so low that Chae could only hear it because he was too close by then; the older man's long fingers dragged carefully over the shoulder until it stopped at the nape of the neck, where he stroked the strands, as soft as he remembered and, immediately, Changkyun closed his eyes when he felt that touch.

His tone was practically a plea, as if he were fighting with himself. Still with his eyes closed, his expression formed a crease between his eyebrows, his breathing gradually heaving.

"Look at me" Hyungwon asked softly and Changkyun obeyed, opening his eyes slowly.

The small hands went up to grab Hyungwon's arm, which was still attached to his neck in that affectionate caress. And again, exchanging that look, Changkyun felt _everything at once._ He couldn't hide from that glance, however much he wanted to and even though Hyungwon had no words, he would know how to read what those globes said.

But Hyungwon verbalized, even so.

"I tried to forget you" the words came out sore on his lips "I tried so hard ... But I can't. You keep coming back to my mind every day and never, not even once, did you leave my heart".

"Hyungwon ..."

"I'm not asking you for an answer, Changkyun" interrupted "Not now. But since it looks so confusing to you, then I'll try to be more clear".

Hyungwon broke the distance between them, taking Changkyun's beautiful lips on his. The hand, previously free, held the smaller one by the waist, bringing him so close that he thought they could become one, right there. Changkyun held him back, clasping his hands on his shoulders, risking sliding them to the long strands that reached the nape of the neck, letting his fingers get lost between them. Their hearts were beating so frantically that they could almost feel each other's frequency, such was the tightness they held in that embrace.

And the taste was so full of nuances. Because there was so much longing, so much desire, so much passion. Their lips trembled together, catching brief gasps and low moans in each other's mouths, so desperate after so long away.

But the agitated sweetness of that contact was followed by a pungent bitterness. Because still trapped in that kiss, Changkyun allowed himself to cry and let the salty tears invade that moment. Hyungwon's big hands touched his face, trying to dry his red cheeks and Changkyun closed his eyes, allowing the other to continue the caress and even to continue to spread kisses over his entire face.

" _Don't cry_ ," Hyungwon repeated. But Changkyun couldn't stop. Because after he decided to swallow the words he most wanted to say in his whole life for the good of the man in front of him, he felt that the right time to confess them would never come.


	9. 08 - Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey  
> This is one of my favorite chapters, I hope the translate is good enough and hope you like it too  
> Please, let me know if your linking it, babies  
> And thanks so much for reading  
> Enjoy <3

_ Before _

_ \- After all I already knew how this is and it will never change _

Since that kisses exchanged by Changkyun and Hyungwon in the youngest's room, it was as if getting away from each other's lips was absolutely painful.

So, during the breaks between classes, Hyungwon and Changkyun disappeared from their friends' eyes in a very suspicious way only to give each other some affection and long innocent kisses until they had to return to their classrooms. The path leading to Changkyun's house was full of provocations, looking sideways to make sure they were alone at certain points along the way just to kiss again briefly. As time went by, it was inevitable that their caution for discretion would have trembled.

The first to notice that there was something different between them was Minhyuk. The older Lee had noticed his friends' escapes from the beginning, but initially preferred to believe in the coincidence. However, it was a little difficult not to understand that both of them were doing that on purpose, especially when their looks and smiles started to become a routine between them.

And, graceful as only fate is, the second person who noticed that interaction was Kihyun. As if sharing the same thoughts without even having talked about it, Yoo and Lee became increasingly provocative about their relationship, inconvenient as age allowed them to be.

The biggest victim was always Hyungwon. On one of the times that Changkyun uncharacteristically missed class, Chae didn't seem to be in a good mood. A beautiful girl in his class noticed and approached, shamefully, asking if everything was okay. Hyungwon responded in the best possible way, maintaining his education, but the girl was not satisfied.

"Is there anything I can do to make  _ oppa  _ happier?" the sweet voice came out of the beautiful lips in a sweet tone when she caressed her own long hair.

"Bring Changkyunnie to him" Minhyuk replied instead, smiling.

The girl looked confused, mainly because Hyungwon didn't deny it. As a matter of fact, he couldn't wait for them to know about that. In the first few months it was easier to settle for the stolen kisses on the sly, but at that point, all Hyungwon wanted was to be able to give Changkyun affection openly, without the fear of being reprimanded.

So when Minhyuk and Kihyun put them against the wall, a few weeks after that incident, Hyungwon made no effort to cover up what was happening. Although Changkyun seemed to be afraid of the reaction of his friends, all they did was get into a deep crisis of ecstatic laughter because they _ were sure _ they were right. Jooheon knew right away and, even though he was a little lost with the information, he didn't seem to care.

Now, without having to hide, it was common for innocent kisses to happen more often, as well as being held for long periods. Hyungwon liked to lie on the youngest's lap, or stroke his dark hair when they sat together. He spent long minutes watching him, being caught immediately afterwards making the youngest melt into embarrassed laughter.

Such constraint, however, seemed to give way to curiosity over the course of so many months. While Hyungwon enjoyed the freedom to treat Changkyun as he wished in just about every possible place, just because he wanted him in his arms every second, Changkyun longed for  _ new discoveries _ . There was no environment where he could, in fact, verbalize or even demonstrate all the doubts that grew inside him and all the sensations that he felt more and more curious to experience. And it was a little distressing to note that Hyungwon wouldn't have noticed if he wasn't clearer, because some things  _ need to be said _ ; otherwise, they get lost in the midst of guesswork.

Although he was eager to share all those growing issues within his own mind and body, Changkyun enjoyed every moment shared with Hyungwon in his daily routine. Whether at school, at friends' houses or on the way to their own residence, each of those moments was pleasant and special.

_ But nothing could ever compare to Chae Hyungwon's visits to his back garden. _

If the eldest used to make constant visits, now his frequency in the Changkyun's residence was almost daily. Hyungwon didn't always have a good excuse to be there, but Grace loved him and always thought he was a very polite boy. So, even if his motives were shallow and it was just a desire to stay close to Changkyun, she would never complain; on the contrary, she was happy that her son had made such present friendships.

Hyungwon shared with Changkyun several tasks and hid among the plantations to steal more kisses from each other. They threw themselves into the lake with enthusiasm and, bordering on inconsequence, exchanged inexperienced and amusing caresses even though Grace could see them through the back window.

After the harvest of oranges that afternoon, the two boys heard Mrs. Grace shout from the back door that she needed to leave. She had left coffee and cookies on the kitchen table, as she had no forecast of return. The boys said goodbye to the woman before entering the lake, as usual. And free from any glance, they took the opportunity to act as they pleased.

Hyungwon brought Changkyun deeper, playing with the fact that the youngest did not know how to swim so well. Changkyun, not affected by the mocking comments, crossed his legs around the older man's waist and his arms around his neck, knowing that Chae wouldn't resist even a second to take his lips.

He was right, as expected. Hyungwon's long arms wrapped around his body and brought him closer, while his mouth reached Changkyun's willingly. His kisses were no longer as innocent as before and neither was Changkyun. If before his cheeks were red only with the brief seals they exchanged, now the boy knew very well how to provoke him until his lips were a mess and his tongues touched with absolute intensity.

In that lake, that was exactly how the youngest took Hyungwon. Rather than being guided by the weak current, Chae was moved by Changkyun's will in a conscious and satisfied way.

"Let's get in" the youngest asked.

Hyungwon stole one more kiss before agreeing and walking out of the water with Changkyun still clinging on him. He only put him on the ground when they reached the bank and the weight of the clothes was too much. The two laughed, walking barefoot and with their clothes soaked to the back door, where they got rid of their shirts and entered running and slipping through the small space that had to be traversed to the youngest's room.

Changkyun looked for towels in the closet and tossed one to Chae trying to dry himself over his clothes too. With his back to the eldest, he looked for a change of clean clothes for himself and another one for Hyungwon until he felt the presence of the taller one behind him. He did not move. Changkyun stood in the same place, feeling his shorts dripping on his feet and his skin prickling for a different reason than the wind blowing through the window on his partially wet body.

Although the water and breeze were cool, Hyungwon's lips were warm when they touched his shoulders. The big hands caressed his arms lightly while his mouth continued to seal his skin carefully and Changkyun tilted his head, longing for him to continue. He turned slowly, holding the older boy by the hips, bringing him a little closer, feeling his fingers cling to his neck.

"What are you doing?" Cahngkyun asked softly, feeling Hyungwon's lips kiss the tip of his nose and his forehead.

"I just wanted to touch you," he replied against his mouth, kissing him softly.

Changkyun pulled him even closer, touching their bodies, returning the kiss with a little more will. They lingered on that gesture and Hyungwon couldn't help but smile.

"We'll wet it all even more," he said between laughs.

"We'd better get undressed, then".

Changkyun said that very quietly, staring at Hyungwon's mouth just before laying his head on his shoulder, hiding his face. The elder hugged him, stroking the wet strands, trying to understand if Changkyun had said that with ulterior motives, but considering that he refused to look him in the eye, he came to a positive conclusion.

_ Direct and impetuous, but still too shy. _

Hyungwon smiled at the thought of that boy's duality and held him in his arms, kissing the top of his head.

"Yes, I think we should take these clothes off".

He waited for what the youngest would do next and it was only then that Changkyun looked up to face him. Hyungwon remained with calm features, patiently awaiting each step. Changkyun walked still hugging him until his legs touched the bed and pushed Hyungwon gently until he was seated.

Chae didn't think it was a good idea, since his shorts were still wet, but he didn't say a word. Changkyun was standing in front of him, hands tightening on his shoulders and lips between his teeth, smiling nervously.

"Take it off for me, please" he asked "I don't think I can do it alone now".

Hyungwon looked at him in surprise, but smiled immediately afterwards, carefully holding the waistband of his shorts. He looked at Changkyun as if asking if he could really undress him and the boy consented only once, feeling the long fingers touch his skin under the fabric as he slid the soaked piece over his hips and legs. The underwear slipped with the shorts and now, the youngest was naked before Hyungwon's eyes, who was analyzing him feeling his heart race and run more slowly at the same time, if it was possible.

Hyungwon looked at Changkyun's completely red face, his small hands still clasping his shoulders as he approached and left a kiss on his belly. Changkyun sighed, stroking Hyungwon's hair and allowing himself to sit on his lap. The older boy settled him on his legs, holding him firmly by the hips as he felt his beautiful mouth come against his again.

And even though they had kissed several times for so long, that kiss carried something more. The slow way they took each other's lips, feeling every bit, every breath lost between movements, had a weight they had never felt before.

"You should take it off too" Changkyun whispered with his forehead next to Hyungwon's.

And Chae didn't even think to disagree. He waited for Changkyun to get out of his lap long enough to stand up and take off his own clothes, finding the youngest now lying on the bed, arms outstretched in his direction.

He lay down on Changkyun's body, immediately feeling the embrace as he kissed his mouth again, but he couldn't stop there. He was so immersed in the intensity of that exchange, especially now where their bodies touched without hindrance, that it was inevitable to want to kiss other parts of his body.

He started at the jaw and neck, feeling Changkyun's grip on his hair and went down a little more over his chest, marveling at the way Changkyun breathed heavily, anxious with each touch of his. The smaller body reacted quickly, and so did his.

When his leg brushed Changkyun's erection, the youngest held a groan that made Hyungwon look at him in wonder. Changkyun’s expression was so new and beautiful, it was impossible not to be fascinated when faced with it. Awkwardly, he touched him again, purposefully, with his hands this time and Changkyun pulled his face against the other's, kissing him hard to hide the sounds that escaped his lips.

Hyungwon knew how to do that - after all, it wasn't like he didn't want to be like that with Changkyun several times, daydreaming about it before going to sleep - but touching himself and touching other person were different things. Hyungwon knew his own body, but finding out how Changkyun reacted each time his hand moved was absolutely tempting.

"Hyung" he called, holding Hyungwon's face in his hands "You ... Do you know how to do that?"

"Theoretically ... Yes" he replied, a little nervous.

To be honest, Hyungwon wasn't expecting to do  _ that  _ when he left his house that afternoon and didn't know that much about such things, but he didn't want to stop touching Changkyun now.

"So is the same for both of us" the youngest laughed in response.

Hyungwon couldn't help but smile, because it was inevitable that it would happen whenever he looked at Changkyun. He was slightly surprised to know that the youngest had been looking for  _ theories  _ on this subject, but it was to be expected; after all, Changkyun was exceptionally curious.

And as he expected, once the smaller one felt more at ease, it was common to allow himself to do what he felt like doing. At that moment, his desire was to touch Hyungwon in the same way that the eldest had touched him and Chae's whole body trembled in Changkyun's hands. A shameful groan escaped his mouth when he felt the tightness around his own erection, his eyes shutted and his face fell against the other boy's neck.

Changkyun moved his fingers slowly, feeling the flesh in his palm pulsing and Hyungwon's suffered groans in his ear. The body itself reacted quickly to any stimulus and it was amazing to capture all of Chae's reactions as well.

"Hyung" he called so low, his voice becoming more serious due to age, that Hyungwon hardly noticed "There is something ... In the drawer".

Hyungwon found it difficult to leave his position, looking at the other's flushed face, although he no longer knew if it was shame or excitement. It was probably both.

He reached the drawer next to the youngest's bed and opened it, waiting for Changkyun's command to know what to look for. Changkyun shook his head, pointing to the last of the drawers and when opening it, Hyungwon did not need any further instructions.

The bottle and the small, almost hidden packages were noticed from a distance and Hyungwon was startled as he brought them to bed, looking at Changkyun with a discredited smile.

"When did you get this?" he asked, reading the lubricant package.

Changkyun pushed him lightly with his feet, laughing constrained, before answering.

"I just thought I should be prepared. You know, in case ..."

"To be as we are now" he smiled towards the youngest who shrugged.

"Yeah".

Hyungwon shook his head, still smiling. He did not know how to name the feeling that was growing inside him at that moment, but his surprise, desire and even admiration for Changkyun's initiative were what stood out in the mess that were his emotions.

He didn't know if he should use those things at that moment or kiss Changkyun again, but decided on the second option when the boy pulled him close again, dropping the bottle on the mattress. Their bodies were still awake and sensitive to each touch and their hands went back to exploring those previously untouched parts, taking advantage of the delicious way the bodies reacted.

They waited a few minutes to get the bottle back and Hyungwon bit his lip before asking.

"Who's going ...?" did not complete with words, but Changkyun understood and smiled.

He spread his legs wider, running the backs of his hands over his cheeks, trying to respond clearly without dying of embarrassment. Fortunately, Chae understood, sitting on his knees, unsealing and lubricating his fingers. Immediately, he realized that Changkyun had never tried it alone, since the product was still sealed.

The younger one stood still, waiting for Hyungwon to position himself comfortably between his legs, but the older one seemed as - or more - nervous as he was. His middle finger caressed it only on the edge, and the cold sensation made Changkyun laugh. Hyungwon ended up laughing too, but he was agitated by what was to come from there.

Slowly, he tried to enter the digit and Changkyun groaned, but he wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not. Hyungwon waited some time to try to continue sinking his finger, hoping that Changkyun would relax a little, but the worry fought with excitement. Feeling the soft interior around him had raised a new wave of expectation that was being difficult to deal with.

"It hurts?" he asked, attentive to Changkyun's expressions.

"A little" he replied "But you can continue".

Hyungwon confirmed, uncertain, but still moved his finger a little the way it was before trying to put another. Changkyun let out a more painful groan and Hyungwon tried to pull them out, but the younger one groaned even more.

"Hyung, slowly".

"I'm sorry" he leaned over Changkyun's body, which was biting his lips, kissing his face "Sorry, did it hurt a lot? If you want I can just touch you, we don't have to go 'till the end".

Hyungwon caressed the handsome face feeling deeply guilty, distributing kisses on his cheeks. Changkyun sighed, returning the affection and brought the other's face in front of his, kissing his mouth once more. He looked closely at him, foreheads touching, breaths cutting each other’s.

_ "I want you, Chae hyung, _ " he whispered.

Hyungwon felt the shiver run his entire body with the decided response. Changkyun already knew that it wouldn't be completely pleasant when they did that the first time, they just needed more calm.

Hyungwon tried again, being more careful with that first part, obeying the pace that the youngest dictated. At some point maintaining that contact, Changkyun's heavy breathing no longer seemed to be so distressing, but anxious.

"I think ... I think you can try it now".

Hyungwon nodded quickly, fumbling a little while looking for the package with the condom he had left on the bed. The fingers were slippery, so it was Changkyun who opened the package and it took them a few minutes to put it on properly.

It was not so easy to find a comfortable position where Hyungwon could, in fact, see what he was doing. After a few more minutes wasted on what to do, Hyungwon placed one of the pillows under the hips of the youngest who spread his legs and waited for Hyungwon to fit between them in the best way.

Chae held his own erection and positioned it in place, watching Changkyun's face, waiting for consent to move on. The smaller confirmed it only once before biting his lip, waiting for the initial discomfort he knew would come. Hyungwon pushed himself very slowly, afraid of hurting him too much.

The small hands tightened around his shoulders, and Changkyun pressed his own mouth against Hyungwon's neck, waiting for him to continue. He was more or less in the middle when he let out a more painful groan and the older one almost despair and came out of him at once. He didn't do it just because Changkyun managed to stop him in time.

"No" asked, in a weak voice "This way it will hurt me".

Hyungwon nodded, completely stood still, not knowing what to do from then on. He felt the inside of Changkyun trying to expel and squeeze it so hot that it was difficult to reason. His arms were shaking from trying to stay in that position without crushing Changkyun under him.

"Go ahead" the youngest said after trying to relax, accommodated as they were.

And from that point until Hyungwon was completely inside Changkyun it took a few more long and painful minutes. Chae returned to spreading kisses on Changkyun's face, noting how he bravely tried to hide his expression so as not to worry him.

"You want to stop?" Hyungwon had the courage to ask, although he wanted to continue.

Changkyun shook his head.

"You can move" asked "Slowly".

Hyungwon moved slowly in and out once, interlacing his fingers with the other's, who held his hands tight. Again and again and then he had to be more careful or he would end up coming out completely. Hyungwon managed to find a better position, following a pace that seemed to please Changkyun as well. His hands were caught in the hair on the back of his neck and his beautiful eyes shutted as his teeth bit into his lower lip.

Hyungwon was instantly relieved. Changkyun should no longer be in so much pain and the deep groan that escaped him no longer had that painful note. He felt freer to move within him, aware of the changes he was making in the smaller body. So when he went deeper at one point, he was startled by Changkyun's snorting.

"What's it?" Asked, worried "Did I hurt you?"

"No" he answered in the middle of a sigh "Hit ... Hit there again".

"What?"

Changkyun pulled him closer with his legs too, groaning against his mouth.

"Do it again, hyung".

Hyungwon melted into Changkyun's arms with that request and nodded even though he didn't know exactly how to do what he asked. He just kept moving deeper, increasing the pace as he noticed how well the smaller body had come to receive it. However, it was not long before Changkyun moaned louder again.

Okay, guess he understood this time. He concentrated on hitting that stimulating spot as much as possible, completely fascinated by the smaller body twitching timidly under his own, his lips parted and his eyes half closed, his breath hitched and difficult making Changkyun the most beautiful view he had ever seen in his life. .

The tightness around him became insane and his movements became more erratic. He felt that he was close, so he instinctively held Changkyun's sensitive erection in his hand and touched it quickly, advancing over his beautiful mouth when the sounds coming out of it became too loud.

The climax was extraordinary. His body had never experienced a sensation like that before, it was as if each piece of him melted with pleasure and watching that same satisfaction on Changkyun's flushed face made everything much better.

The body collapsed after those seconds and with great care, he brought Changkyun's body to rest on his own. He smoothed his bare back, reaching the base of his spine, feeling the light skin prickle under his fingers and the smaller one snuggling closer in his embrace.

"It hurts?" he asked again. And Changkyun, unable to lie at that moment, confirmed. "I'm sorry".

"Don't be sorry" he smiled before reaching for his lips to kiss him again "We'll get the hang of it".

Hyungwon smiled at that sentence, squeezing him lightly, facing the serene face lit by the evening light that passed through the bedroom windows. Changkyun was warm and cozy like the sun's rays, bright as the star itself in his eyes.

_ And Hyungwon didn't care to orbit around him. _

"What's it?" the youngest asked in a whisper.

"I ... I'm so in love with you".

Changkyun's eyes widened and he couldn't help turning red while hiding his face in his neck.

"Hyung" he muttered, embarrassed.

But all Chae did was smile because that was one of the times that the answer didn't have to be verbalized for him to understand.

He didn't know yet,  _ but he wished that all his questions could be answered that way without any doubt remaining. _


	10. 09 - After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI  
> I'm here again...  
> Hmmm I think this "after" chapter is not so sad as the others that came before ahdkejnaeklf   
> WHATEVEEER I hope you like it  
> Please drop a comment if you do and let me know what you're thinking  
> Enjoy <3

_ After _

_ \- If you brought me back then why would you let me go? _

Jooheon watched Changkyun dressed in the suit he would wear for the ceremony.

It was not common to see the boy in such social clothes, which was a shame. Changkyun looked really good that way. He adjusted his sleeves once more, looking at himself in front of the mirror and let out a heavy sigh that had nothing to do with the clothing or the time he had to wait for the final fitting of the tailored suit.

And Jooheon knew that very well.

Some few things made Changkyun anxious. Any minor setback that came in the way of his mother, for example, or the possibility of attending college, even though he found it very difficult to be able to exert the profession inside or outside that city. Perhaps the insecurity to drive after having done so badly in his attempts.

And of course, Hyungwon was also a reason to shake Changkyuns tranquility.

Not for anything specific he did, but the simple fact that he was breathing somewhere in the world was enough to awaken the most intense wave of emotions in Changkyun. The younger Lee was well aware of that delicate and broken part of Changkyun because he was the most present person while he tried to put all his pieces together and start over.

Uselessly, it was obvious. The most important part of being complete again had left with Hyungwon eight years earlier.

However, Chae was back, exuding maturity, beauty and a clear willingness to approach Changkyun again. And what worried Jooheon was the fact that Changkyun still hasn't said or vented to him even once about it.

"You look too handsome," Jooheon said and projected his body in an overreaction that made Changkyun focus on his friend and smile.

"It's just that I spend a lot of time with you, I'm looking good too," he replied playfully.

Jooheon got up from the upholstery he was on and walked until he was after the youngest, staring at his reflection in the mirror. Jooheon smoothed Changkyun's arms and rested his chin on his shoulder, hugging him from behind and Changkyun held his hands with his fingers crossed over his belly.

It would be a lie to say that nothing had happened between them during those years, but their friendship had never taken a name other than that. They were too aware of their own feelings to know that what they had was an absolutely strong and incorruptible union, but not a romantic one, although their involvement had crossed the fraternal boundaries on some lost and needy nights.

And because they shared so many things, it was inevitable that Jooheon would learn to read between Changkyun's lines as well.

"Why are you so nervous?" He asked quietly, laughing to try to lighten the mood of the issue "Nor are you the one getting married".

"I am not".

"Yes, you are." he squeezed him a little more in his arms and pressed his own lips together, making the dimples even more apparent in his face.

Changkyun sighed again and stared at the buttons on his clothes through the mirror, fleeing the reflection of Jooheon's gaze. He knew that sooner or later his friend would ask, but never thought he was ready to talk about it.

_ Just as he thought he could no longer make up for lost time. _

"We kissed," he replied, but his expression didn't look happy.

In contrast, Jooheon looked absolutely excited, widening his small eyes and turning the smaller body in front of his.

"And then?" Asked, holding his shoulders gently "Why are you like this? Solve everything".

"Things don't work like that, Jooheon" he said, through a new sigh "Eight years have passed, not eight days. We have completely different lives, we are completely different people. We separated because we had reasons ..."

"That exists no more" Jooheon interrupted him "You said it yourself, Kyun. You are different people now, you are adults. You're not seventeen anymore. The only thing like that time is that  _ you still love him _ ".

Changkyun stared at his friend, unable to answer. He rubbed his face, tired of not knowing what else to think about all that. For being completely lost as he was eight years ago.

"Will you answer him?" Jooheon spoke again, softly "If he asks you  _ that question _ again, will you tell the truth this time?"

Changkyun felt his throat burn, because not only the old memories but the recent ones came to mind. The taste, now ripe, of that kiss so desperate and longing at the door of his house where all his feelings were exposed even though he didn't say a word.

_ But after all, words were more than necessary. _

"I don't know," he said, his voice broken.

It was Jooheon's turn to sigh and bring Changkyun's body close, in a comforting hug. He knew that everything Changkyun had tried to fix during those years had become a mess again.

"Just do me a favor," he whispered against his friend's ear. "Stop thinking about everyone, just once. Think only of yourself. It's okay to be selfish from time to time, I swear".

Changkyun hugged Jooheon back, but did not respond. He just wished, deeply, that he might be able to live up to that promise.

***

Hoseok had been concerned about calling Hyungwon when the day of the ceremony had arrived. The day before, Chae had vented through a video call, telling about what had happened in front of Changkyun's house. He told about the kiss, about the words, about the youngest's painful crying, about the insecurity that didn't leave him even -  _ and especially _ \- after so many years.

While reporting all the events and all his doubts, it was Hyunwoo who opened his mouth to try to advise him.

"You're already there, Hyungwon" he said seriously "And after all these years, you have an effect on him as much as he has an effect on you. Don't give up yet".

In fact, after exchanging that kiss, he knew very well that Changkyun felt as affected by his presence as he felt about the youngest. So he tried to renew his courage and thanked Wonho for the brief call that morning in an attempt to cheer him up.

He knew that Minhyuk would probably complain about his suit because it was a shade lighter than that of the other groomsmen, but it was not his fault since he was not expecting that honor. He waited for his parents at the front door of his own home and praised the long baby blue dress his mother was wearing because she was genuinely beautiful.

The entrance to the Lee house was packed with cars and trucks. They went directly to the back garden by the gravel path that was fully decorated and proceeded to the ceremony place.

The local, naturally flowery, exuded a softer charm. The seats, taken by at least half of the guests, were covered in white and the decor opened in light shades of yellow, blue and silver.

Hyungwon greeted some people and went into the house, looking for the grooms. He was lucky to find Minhyuk in the kitchen, apparently too nervous. His hair was arranged in a different way, combed back a little and the dark suit fit him perfectly.

"Wonnie" Minhyuk called nervously, walking over to his friend "He looks so beautiful".

The bright, usually amused eyes have lost the weary shadow of the previous days. There was only genuine nervousness and excitement stamping the dark globes and the smile on his face was absolutely adorable.

_ Minhyuk was impossibly happy. _

"Did you see each other?" Hyungwon asked.

"Yes, just now. Changkyun is with him. The ceremony is about to start and I have to leave, but…"

Hyungwon grabbed his friend's shoulders when the air seemed to be escaping his lungs without him being able to bring his breath back.

"But what?"

"I'm so nervous" he confessed, pulling a hair that fell over his forehead, afraid to mess up his hairstyle.

"You love each other, Min. You don't have to be nervous" he smiled tenderly, squeezing his friend's shoulder "And this is going to be the most beautiful wedding this city has ever seen".

Minhyuk compressed his lips and advanced towards Hyungwon, hugging him tight. Chae returned the affection between an amused laugh and patted him on the back before asking where the other fiancé was.

"It's upstairs" replied the blonde "I'll get ready, if you want to go see him, better go now".

Hyungwon nodded and left the kitchen, headed for the living room and was about to go up the steps when Changkyun's figure appeared at the top of the stairs. The first thing he noticed is that, now, the hair no longer had the irregular cut that it had in childhood. The strands combed back were perfectly aligned, the suit hugging every notch of the beautiful body, and as he went down, step by step, he could catch a glimpse of every detail of his expressive face, so much more mature than when he left.

Changkyun stopped before reaching the end of the staircase and faced Hyungwon who would not be able to look away even if he wished. He rubbed his palms on his pants and gave a small smile, showing the dimples in his cheeks and that made Hyungwon smile too. He was so beautiful and so different, but those ways still gave him so much familiarity.

"He's upstairs with Yeonjung" Changkyun spoke in a low voice "You can go see him if you want".

"Are you going out yet?"

"Yes" the youngest confirmed "We will enter soon".

"Okay" followed the boy when he passed by "Then I'll go with you".

***

They were all already in their places outside when the nuptial march began. Unlike traditional ceremonies, both grooms entered last, as they had predicted since rehearsals. First Minhyuk with Dior and then Kihyun with Mrs. Yoo. They met before the judge of peace almost at the same time and their smile could have lit up Mulbang-ul in its entirety.

Hyungwon and Changkyun were sitting side by side. The chairs were positioned close enough for the legs to touch and even though they could change position, neither of them seemed to care about the contact. When Minhyuk cried during his vows and Kihyun accompanied him, although he tried to calm him down, Chae and Chankyun's gaze crossed, holding a giggle. They were thrilled, too, but it was funny because they _ were sure _ it would happen. The exchange of rings, the kiss and the whole end of the ceremony passed quickly and the party finally started.

During the photos they took with the guests and all the mess that followed while the night took over the city, Hyungwon and Changkyun were distant once again. They were in opposite directions when Minhyuk and Kihyun hit the dance floor and Changkyun invited Grace to dance with him. The woman pulled her son's body close, resting her face on his broad shoulder and smiled.

As they moved slowly to the quieter music that resonated in the garden, Grace could see the figure of Hyungwon waltzing with his own mother. The woman's thin arms smoothed her son's and her right hand reached up to straighten some strands of hair that fell over his forehead at that point.

"He is even more beautiful" commented and Changkyun approached, to better understand what she said "Hyungwon, dear. He looks even more beautiful".

Changkyun did not answer, did not even have the courage to look for the eldest. He just kept dancing, having the decency to agree with his mother.

"And he doesn't stop looking over here," she added.

"Mom…" Changkyun called, sighing afterwards.

"I have seen you anxious all week" the woman's fingers caressed his neck, still keeping the embrace of that dance "So agitated and distracted. You never forgot him".

"It doesn't matter".

"What doesn't matter?" Grace pulled away enough to face him "Your feelings don't matter? It is?"

"No mom. Isn't it".

"So what is it?" Asked, preventing Changkyun from looking away, "Tell me. Why, after all you've lived, aren't you together now? Why are you two not together if you still feel the same after so many years?"

"Because I'm not like him, mom" Changkyun replied in a pained whisper "My life and obligations are here with you".

Grace swallowed the lump that formed in her throat immediately, failing to hide her teary eyes. She closed them shut and hugged his only son tightly, leaving a long kiss on his cheek before saying softly in his ear:

"Your life is not here, Changkyun. You haven't even lived in years, my love. You were just doing what you thought others wanted from you. What _ I _ wanted".

"Mom ..." Changkyun tried to get out of the embrace and deny it, but the woman didn't allow it.

"But I have hope" continued, stroking the boy's back "Because you are shining again as when you were a boy and I can't let it go out again, baby".

Changkyun no longer tried to escape the embrace because all his effort was focused on not letting himself break right there, while his steps were slower than the rhythm of the music.

"After so many years well lived you still manage to be inconsequentially romantic" Changkyun laughed, even though his heart was tight.

"That's right, dear" Grace moved away again, letting her son face hers "I already have my collection of memories. It's time to create yours and live your life without worrying about me".

Before Changkyun could protest, the woman shut him up with her index finger. Her gaze wandered past his son, smiling tenderly when she walked away to greet whoever had arrived and stole her attention. Changkyun heard the praise just quoted, now directed at Chae himself, and remained in the same place, staring at his own feet, not knowing what to do after that conversation. Mrs. Grace's words joining Jooheon's, causing a new storm inside his mind, destroying all the convictions that imprisoned him in the life he led until then.

But like an anchor securing him to the cozy pier, away from the impending shipwreck, Hyungwon's warm hand touched his shoulder and gently took his attention. And feeling all the calm that followed the storm, Changkyun finally turned towards him and faced the same pleasant smile and calm expression that he never forgot.

"Can I have this dance?" the question was almost a whisper in Hyungwon's low and naturally sensual voice and Changkyun had time to see his mother wave and walk away.

Holding a nervous laugh, Changkyun gave in to the approach and the two ended up smiling at each other for being awkward to conduct that dance. Giving up on finding any position that made sense, Hyungwon wrapped his arms around Changkyun's shoulders and waited for what the other would do in the face of that contact. Without saying a word, the youngest held him by the waist and came even closer, following the still slow pace of the romantic ballads chosen by Minhyuk for that event.

Feeling the body so close to his again, Hyungwon allowed himself to close his eyes and smile. He was still unsure and full of doubts, but his certainties have never changed since the day he first saw Changkyun. And while he was holding him, smelling the citrus scent of strawberry and lime orange, he knew that conviction would be with him until his last day of life.

He was no longer a teenage boy full of dreams that were too distant and too big. He no longer had to carry the weight of such an unfair choice even though he wanted to hold the whole world in my arms. He was an adult man who had made several opposite choices and walked on rainy paths, but he always knew where the sunny day was waiting for him.

_ And he no longer intended to let the sun go down again. _

"I'm happy to be back," he said, close enough for Changkyun to hear.

The younger one covered his shiver and turned his head slightly, trying to hide his flushed face. He hated himself for still looking so vulnerable after all that time.

"It was a beautiful wedding".

"I'm happy because _ I came back because of you _ , Changkyunnie" he sentenced, being graced by the trembling of the smaller body hugged to his and tried to search the other's face to look at his; Changkyun still hesitated, but he relented when the long fingers followed the path to touch his cheek and bring his attention to his eyes.

"Hyungwon ..." His speech was just a whisper.

" _ Shh _ " Chae asked for silence, sealing his forehead and hugging him again "Don't say anything, just dance with me. I promise I won't leave this time until you want to make me stay. Until you don't let me go".

Changkyun felt his heart beat so hard he was sure Hyungwon could feel it. They remained wrapped up in that melody until it disappeared, the voices around them became loud and the reality outside that hug brought them back.

They shared dances with other people and happiness was in the air. The small children fell asleep when the party dragged on for too long and, likewise, the older ones left the house. Hyungwon took his parents home, but returned because he wanted to say goodbye to the grooms before leaving on their honeymoon trip. He didn't bother to change clothes, just headed back to the Lee residence, saying goodbye to some guests who were coming out the front door and arrived in the living room in time to see Grace bouncing up the first steps ladder.

"At least let me accompany you" Changkyun asked, trying to grab one of his mother's arms.

"Boy, I can go alone" the woman scolded, a little irritated, but Changkyun's annoyed features made her regret "I'm fine, my love".

"Don't worry, Kyunnie" this time it was Dior who said, holding the boy's shoulders from behind "We’ll take good care of your mother".

"She shouldn't have been drinking that much," he lamented in a low voice, and Grace didn't seem to hear.

"It's a party, don't be so harsh" Dior patted his arm lightly "If you want to stay, you can too".

"No, I don't want to give you more trouble" he smiled "I'll come and pick her up tomorrow morning".

"At least have breakfast with us, then".

Changkyun smiled at Mrs. Lee and looked again at his mother, a little worried as she reached the top of the stairs and threw a theatrical kiss. The boy laughed and shook his head before Minhyuk and Kihyun appeared and hugged Grace, coming down the stairs next. The couple's bags were next to the entrance door and only then Hyungwon noticed them there.

"Did you come back to say goodbye?" Minhyuk asked, bringing Changkyun close too, hugging him by the shoulders.

"Yes" he replied simplistically, putting his hands in his pants pockets "And wish you a good trip".

"So considerate" Kihyun said, rolling his eyes and giggling, but he was the first to hug Chae, thanking him. After that, he turned to Changkyun and straightened his suit, leaving him so many instructions to take care of himself that he could take his parents' place.

Minhyuk did not do much differently, distributing long hugs to both friends and parents before they left and took one of the family cars with Jooheon who would take them to the neighboring city where the airport was located.

Changkyun and Hyungwon also said goodbye to Dior and Dong and the two went out into the night outside the mansion, walking slowly, side by side until Chae turned to Changkyun. He hoped he had been clear during that dance and longed even more that he would not repel him after exposing his intentions. Nor did he want to force him to respond to his wishes because he knew that Changkyun had his own questions to answer.

After eight years, he didn't mind waiting any longer.

But as he drew in a long breath and prepared to say goodbye, Changkyun's voice cut the silence and their eyes met long enough to understand that maybe his wait wouldn't be that long.

_ "Can you… give me a ride?" _

  
  
  
  
  
  



	11. 10 - Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey  
> Well I have to warn you that this chapter is a little more dramatic. We'll finally discover wth happened with these two  
> The next chapter is the final one and there is a short epilogue too.  
> BUT YEAH, NO MORE CHAT HERE  
> I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT, DROP A COMMENT  
> ENJOY <3

_ Before _

_ \- Make me stay here _

They were still on summer vacation, some of them about to start the last year at school, but concerns about that new phase were already present.

Minhyuk was a little resistant to start working with Dong in the family business, but it was Kihyun who told the boy that he should give it a chance. After all, Mr. Lee would know how to give him space if Minhyuk, in fact, did not identify with the profession.

When Hyungwon teased him about listening to what Yoo said, Minhyuk shrugged and replied:

"He has good advices." His voice was lower than usual.

"And how do you know that?" Hyungwon continued "Have you asked him for other advice?"

Minhyuk shook his head, denying even though it was a lie. In fact, ever since he knew that Kihyun had came out as homosexual to his family, even though he lived in a town as small as Mulbang-ul, where everyone gets to know every little thing in the lives of all the residents, Minhyuk has only managed to find him very brave. When he asked Yoo if he was not afraid, he received another short but very significant question in return.

_ "Why should I be afraid to be who I am?" _

Minhyuk spent a long time brooding over that sentence, seeing a new face in Kihyun that he didn't allow himself to see before that. Perhaps for that reason he let his guard down little by little and felt free to share his insecurities about the future with him.

"He will be happy to know that you think that of him," Changkyun said.

"He will never know," Minhyuk replied.

Hyungwon and Changkyun laughed at their friend, but they didn't provoke him about that anymore during that day.

With the end of the summer and the resumption of classes, all the concerns and possibilities about what was to come took the attention of each one of the boys. However, Changkyun did not usually engage in such conversations. While his friends talked about the pros and cons of all their options, Changkyun returned to being the quiet and silent observer, attentive and silent as he was in childhood.

The truth was, Changkyun did not have many expectations as to what he would do from now on. While his friends were surrounded by family members and various alternatives on what to do after the school term was over, all Changkyun hoped for was to be able to continue helping his mother with his small plantation and being by her side.

Unlike practically everyone living in Mulbang-ul, the "Im family" was made up of only two members. There was no one to protect his mother and give her any security other than Changkyun himself, and so all those ambitious and dreamy plans by his friends made no sense to the youngest.

He didn't believe he could graduate in any university, much less travel to specialize in other cities or countries. What remained for Changkyun was his back garden and a simple life, as Grace had predicted from the beginning. He did not even allow himself to think too much about any impossible desire in order not to be frustrated.

But while Changkyun didn't even give himself the right to dream too loudly, Hyungwon needed support to keep both feet on the ground. It was not purposeful, however, but his choices were so many that it was difficult to make a decision. The entire time he was so distracted by all those open horizons that he hadn't even looked for meaning in Changkyun's silence other than the fact that he still had more time to study before he graduated.

On the one hand, Changkyun was relieved that there were not too many questions about his plans as it was uncomfortable to seem so simple in front of friends, but on the other hand, he felt increasingly distant when he realized that Hyungwon seemed oblivious to all the unspoken words between the lines.

When one of the teachers gave the Chae a card with the number of a modeling agency in the neighboring city, Hyungwon seemed nervous and happy about that possibility. He had spent the whole week talking about it with Changkyun until he came to the test site and, shortly afterwards, started doing small jobs that allowed him to study as he wished.

As a result, having to move from one city to another while studying was making his time with Changkyun less as well. His once daily visits to the youngest's house had now become weekly, since Sunday was the only free day left. Even so, they ended up sharing that period with the rest of their friends and family because Sundays were still sacred and they respected that.

The calls that occurred almost every night were still full of passionate phrases, but Hyungwon seemed increasingly tired and inattentive to the details that always seemed so clear to him. Because as his dreams grew and became more defined and achievable, Changkyun felt more and more distant and absent from whatever future Hyungwon planned.

As the months passed and his routine became more and more contrary, it was common for certain things to be forgotten. At least, that was what Changkyun thought when he saw the folder inside one of Hyungwon's drawers, displaying a pair of smiling models alongside a perfectly diagrammed text with the proposal for a job abroad. He should have  _ just forgotten _ to mention that he had received that offer, maybe he didn't even seriously consider it. Changkyun desperately wanted to believe in that alternative, but time was running out and the end of the school year was getting closer and closer.

So when Hyungwon commented over the phone that his name had been unanimously cited as a potential international model, ecstatic that they practically asked him to travel for a short period to work in other countries in Asia, Changkyun congratulated him and swallowed anything bad that came along with his pride.

Although Hyungwon guaranteed that he had no intention of doing jobs like that often, he did not always show control over such decisions. His travels became more frequent and his calls scarcer, mainly because his schedules became more and more divergent. The calls started to become text messages, somewhat shorter and faster, and the nostalgia squeezed the chest of both boys, but time just seemed not to collaborate with them.

On one of those hectic days, quite late at night, Changkyun received a call instead of a message, but all he felt was fear. Although he was happy to hear Hyungwon's voice and talk to him in a slightly more intimate way, he had a bad feeling during that day.

"Changkyunnie?" the nickname melted Changkyun, who responded immediately after the call "Were you sleeping?"

"Not yet" he turned on his side on the bed "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, it is" interrupted the speech and sighed deeply "Things are going well here".

"I'm glad".

"Yes" a giggle invaded the line, but it was not like the peaceful smiles that Hyungwon usually gave him; so Changkyun knew there was something more to be said "They are even trying to take me to Europe".

Changkyun was silent for the next few seconds, leaving Hyungwon anxious on the other end of the line. He bit his lip hard, drawing in a deep breath and prayed to everything that was sacred so that his voice would not break.

"That's great".

"Yeah, I think so" Chae replied, pondering that tone and the silence before that answer "If I accept, I will be three months without being able to go home. I still haven't given an answer".

The youngest turned on the bed again. His heart was racing and his eyes were burning as he pulled the blanket up to cover his head.

"What are you waiting for?" he asked, his voice even lower.

"I ... I don't know" he replied, sighing too 'I just ... I wanted to tell you".

What did Hyungwon expect from Changkyun? Permission? Did he expect Changkyun to stop him from fulfilling his dreams and winning the world as he deserved?

"I appreciate it" Changkyun broke the silence "But you don't owe me any satisfaction, hyung".

"Yes, I do" replied promptly "We are together, Changkyun. I need to at least tell you ..."

"Already did" cut him, swallowing the lump forming in the throat "Now run and say you accept the proposal. You should not miss this opportunity".

"You ... Are you sure?"

Changkyun felt a tear run down his face lying on his side and stop at his temple, getting lost in the dark strands next. And once he started to cry, he couldn't stop.

"I am" the voice came out very quietly and Hyungwon was silent on the other side, about to ask again if everything was okay, but Changkyun continued to speak "I'm sleepy, hyung. I'm going to turn it off now".

Hyungwon was unable to prolong that conversation because the youngest ended the call shortly thereafter. Changkyun squinted and dropped his cell phone on the mattress hidden under the covers because while he was thinking about the direction their lives had been taking, there was no compatible path to take together.

His cry was silent and painful, making his throat ache for trying to contain the small sobs that escaped anyway. Hyungwon deserved to shine for the world and conquer all the highest places around the planet. And knowing this, more than anything wishing he were the man he had been struggling to be, Changkyun knew what decision would need to be made.

_ He could not lock Hyungwon with him in his back garden. _

***

Hyungwon was nervous.

His path to his own house seemed more like a blur. He hadn't been able to eat anything during the flight back, but that didn't stop his stomach from turning over even though he had nothing to put out.

He checked his cell phone again, hoping to find some message or call from him, but all there was on his lockscreen were the message notifications from Minhyuk and Mrs. Chae.

Since he had decided to leave four months ago, Hyungwon was no longer able to keep in touch with Changkyun. The three-month period had been extended for the next four weeks without him having control over it, which only contributed to his deep state of nerves.

As time passed by, his messages were no longer received by Changkyun and his calls were in no way completed. He even asked the other boys if something had happened or if he had lost his cell phone, but the answers were always vague.

"He's okay," Minhyuk said, just before running away from the topic "He's just kind of busy with the house stuff."

When he dared to ask Jooheon, the younger Lee gave him a rather rude answer. “He's busy with his own thing, hyung. Just as you are busy with yours ”.

But "being busy" didn't seem like a convincing enough excuse that he couldn't get in touch with Changkyun for that whole time. It was even worse to know that his friends might have known the real reason for that behavior and had not told him.

Therefore, returning home no longer felt like a rest that the familiar place could provide. At least, not until he found Changkyun and talked to him.

After unpacking most of his luggage and answering almost all of his mother's questions, Hyungwon managed to escape and make his way to Changkyun's residence. His steps were quick and anxious towards the front door, being greeted by Grace, who gave him a small smile that was properly returned. The woman put him inside, offering him coffee and a piece of cake, but Chae politely declined.

"He's in the backyard," Grace said, twisting the hem of her apron in the same nervous gesture her son had.

Hyungwon nodded and excused himself, heading towards the back of the house, finding Changkyun sitting on some almost rotten wooden slats from the old pier there. The boy had a small basin on his lap and his feet wobbled slowly while his hands were stained red by the strawberries in the container.

Chae sighed when he saw him, feeling his heart racing only at the sight of Changkyun well and quiet being kissed by the wind and the sun's rays so shy of that day. He took slow steps until he was closer to where the boy was, not daring to sit with him or the slats would not support and sag, leading them both into the lake.

Changkyun sighed deeply and Hyungwon knew that he had already noticed his presence.

He had so many questions to ask, so much to tell. But now that he was in Changkyun's presence after having spent those weeks without talking, he was paralyzed. The fact that the boy had not turned to receive him made him distressed.

"Changkyunnie," he called softly, hoping he would at least face him, greet him.

The youngest left the bowl aside, flexing his knees over the wood to stand up. He turned slowly towards him, running his fingers stained through the fabric of his shorts and nodded, avoiding looking him in the eye.

"What happened?" took courage to ask the first question "Did you lose your cell phone?"

"No," replied, simplistically, taking a few steps until he was safer on the garden floor instead of the pier.

"So ... Why didn't you answer me?" he feared asking that question because he feared the answer even more.

"I just simplified things, Hyungwon".

"What things?"

"You didn't seem willing to put an end to everything. So I did it".

Hyungwon felt his head spin. His heart was beating so fast he thought he was going to pass out.

"End what, Changkyun? What do you mean?"

"Us, Hyungwon" he went straight again, still unable to look him in the eye; in fact, he noticed the set of expensive clothes he wore even in such a simple place and that only made Changkyun expel from his throat all the speech he had already memorized "Everything is fine. It's not like we expect this thing between us to last forever".

"I did," he replied, breathless; he didn't know when he started to hyperventilate " _ I do". _

_ Me too _ , Changkyun wanted to say. But he didn't. Instead, he stared at the handsome buttons on the other's blouse, swallowing the lump that formed in the throat dryly when he saw the older man's chest rise and fall in a hurry.

"Are you doing this because I went to Europe?" Asked, approaching a few steps, but stopped when Changkyun stepped back "We can fix it. We don't need to separate. Many people date at a distance ..."

It was then that Changkyun laughed. A humorless laugh, before finally facing Hyungwon for a short time, just to tell him the only information that was not a lie in his speech.

"We were already in a distance relationship when  _ you were still here _ . It is naive of you to think that you can keep something like that in another country".

"So I stay" he replied, without thinking "I ... I try to circumvent the contract, I don't know ..."

Chae's eyes quickly filled. Changkyun shook his head.

"Stop this. You must go," he said firmly.

Changkyun wasn't doing that to prevent Hyungwon from going on with his life. He just wanted to get rid of any ties that would prevent him from flying.

"But I don't want to lose you" he advanced so fast that, this time, Changkyun could not retreat in time.

Hyungwon's teary eyes locked with his and Changkyun lost his breath. Because he was so handsome in so many ways that he barely had the strength to stand. A side of him, desperately in love, wanted to ask Hyungwon to stay. To run away if necessary, but Changkyun just didn't know how to be like that.

"There is nothing to lose, Hyungwon" he replied, while his nails hurt his palm by closing his fists to keep from wavering "There is no longer an 'us'".

Hyungwon gasped again. He couldn't conceive what he was saying.

"You made that choice yourself" he shouted nervously and Changkyun took a step back, getting rid of the hands that held his face "Why are you doing this?  _ I love you _ ".

Changkyun then bit his lip, showing his nervousness more clearly for the first time. Hyungwon found a loophole there and tried to take advantage of it.

"I love you, Changkyunnie" he said more softly this time "If what we had was as important to you as it was to me ... _ If you love me back _ ... Don't do that to us".

Changkyun stared at him, from the hair dyed a lighter color, through the sculpted face, the slender body dressed in designer clothes to the expensive shoes. And that look was so intense that Hyungwon felt completely naked.

For that brief moment, when Changkyun's curious brown globes were analyzing him with such vigor, Hyungwon believed that he would finally give in. That the boy would give up that madness, bury himself in his embrace and then everything would be fine.

"Tell me" encouraged the youngest "A word from you and I give up everything, I swear. It doesn't have to be this way, we don't have to go that way. If you ask me to stay, I will stay" he moved closer, seeking eye contact with the other who escaped his gaze, keeping his eyes focused on his feet "You still love me, don't you?"

Hyungwon was certain that that question would make him reconsider. However, Changkyun's beautiful lips tightened and there was no answer to that question. Instead, Changkyun finally looked up, cold as never, looking at him seriously.

"You must go now, Hyungwon".

His low voice was clipped and his steps were quick to get him out of the elder's presence, through the back door. Hyungwon stood for a while, absorbing that coldness in Changkyun's ever-so-hot look, sending him away.

In stumbling strides, he followed the same path as the youngest, knocking on the door of the boy's room, who had locked himself inside, but there was no answer. When he realized that Grace was staring at him, frightened, the boy apologized and headed out of the residence.

He called Minhyuk, with whom he spent the rest of that day. Jooheon tried to comfort him from the compulsive and completely atypical crying with his older brother, but after a while the youngest disappeared from view. He went to Changkyun's house, because he knew he must be feeling as bad as Hyungwon, but he didn't think it was his job to share that information.

Hyungwon was a mess. Because while the pain corroded every small part of the body and especially the heart, thousands of feelings fought within. He felt betrayed, abandoned, without even having a choice. After all, Changkyun had decided that all by himself after having said on that call that he didn't mind his trip. As a child, his unrequited wills unleashed pain and despair at not knowing what to do.

"Do you think you should insist?" Minhyuk asked when the crying had calmed down "Wait a few days and try again".

"I don't have much time here" he replied, wiping his cheeks "Just the weekend. I have to get back to work".

Minhyuk fidgeted and cleared his throat.

"It's really a long time to be away" Hyungwon stared at him and Lee opened his eyes wide, afraid of being misunderstood "B-but I think ... That you could really manage".

"But he doesn't want to," he said, rather rudely. "And I can't make him. I said I would give up everything for him, but he doesn't want it anyway".

Hyungwon felt the tears fall again, but he dried them quickly. He got up on impulse and took a deep breath, closing his eyes.

" _ He doesn't want me _ ," he said, much more to himself than to his friend. "Then I'm going to walk away as he wishes."

"Hyungwon ..."

"I need to pack my bags for tomorrow night," he said, walking out of the Lee home.

Minhyuk knew he was hurt and knew that what came after that would not be good. Bruised hearts tend to make poor decisions.

When he said goodbye to Mulbang-ul again at dawn the next day, Hyungwon knew he didn't have a date to return. Because initially, all he felt was the pain of rejection, but time had taken it upon himself to point out the errors in all his fantasies.

At each end of the exhausting day, when he put his head on the pillow after a running shower without the slightest force to even keep his eyes open, he remembered Changkyun. He thought about how flawed it would be to maintain a relationship with him by having that kind of routine and how painful it would be for both of them to keep anything that way. He was really naive, he concluded. And with his thoughts focused on the boy, he let himself be rocked to the world of dreams.

He thought about calling thousands of times. He thought of saying that he was wrong and that Changkyun was right. He thought of telling what he had been doing and how much recognition he had been receiving in those months -  _ and later, years _ \- in his new career. He thought of returning home and saying that he understood all the cons of his plan and suggested a new one.

But Changkyun's gaze on himself was still fresh in his memory, so cold that Chae felt the chill run down his spine. Since that look and all that time, Changkyun had started a severe winter in Hyungwon's life.

And in the middle of that glacial storm, only one thing was able to bring any hope that summer would return again.

' _ He wants you to come back, _ ' said Minhyuk's e-mail, eight years later.

And without blinking, Hyungwon would walk back down the icy trail until he reached sunny days once again.

  
  
  



	12. 11 - Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey  
> This is the last Chapter and after that, there's a short epilogue, but I'll post it rn too  
> I'm happy and sad, but really thankful  
> Hope you enjoy it  
> <3

_Now_

_\- If you love me, tell me (...)_

_(...) You are my sun_

The house was absolutely silent.

The only sound came from outside, from the garden, where some insects were probably having a party and no one turned on the living room lights after going through the front door.

Changkyun took off his shoes and took a short look over his shoulder, seeing that Hyungwon was following him. He himself had invited him, minutes before.

" _Don't you want to come in?_ " He had asked.

But now the youngest couldn't say whether he could handle the fact that they were there alone.

Changkyun went to the kitchen, where he found the switch and turned on the light, heading towards the refrigerator to get some water. He offered it to Hyungwon who shook his head, denying and the younger held the glass tightly while drinking the liquid. Changkyun wanted his heart to stop beating so fast, but it was impossible.

When he turned around again, he realized that Hyungwon was no longer in the room and, of course, followed the short corridor to the back door. Chae didn't seem uncomfortable that he was soiling his dark socks with the earth from the garden, looking at the plantation and the lake with a small smile on his handsome face.

Looking at him from behind, Changkyun felt as small as he felt eight years ago, this time changing the scene. It was he who was standing behind Hyungwon's back, anxious and unsure of what he could tell him now that he had decided to give in.

"It changed a lot" Hyungwon broke the silence "But it looks exactly the same".

There was so much that could fit that phrase, that Changkyun just remained silent, imagining that the other was talking about his garden and orchards. In fact, that place had undergone many changes, but now that they were both there, they realized that the sensation brought the same feeling of agitation as years ago.

Changkyun soiled his own socks when he walked through the damp land to approach Hyungwon and the older one breathed in the night air, waiting for him to be closer until he said something.

"I didn't understand your attitudes at that time" his soft voice reached Changkyun who lowered his head, knowing that Hyungwon would get into that subject; in fact, _he expected him to do it_ "I thought you just had ... Stopped wanting me".

Changkyun felt his eyes sting as he remembered everything. The first time he refused Hyungwon's call, the first time he stopped responding to his messages. The first time he decided that the only alternative was to leave Hyungwon's life so as not to be a burden on his journey.

_And knowing that he had hurt him was the burden that he himself had to carry._

"Then I felt guilty" Hyungwon continued to speak "Because I remembered all the times I failed to clarify that my plans included you and even made you think the complete opposite. You were right. We were so distant even before I left".

"No" Changkyun interrupted "There was nothing right in my decisions, hyung. I was afraid and ran away".

Hyungwon turned to face the youngest. Once again Changkyun could see the expensive suit, the hair dyed in a lighter shade than the natural one, the perfect face that had become so much more beautiful after he matured, his tall and slim body, standing before him with his hands in the pants pockets.

"What were you afraid of?"

Changkyun shrugged, feeling the breeze ruffle his hair and took a deep breath. The memories of all the times he had faced the number of Hyungwon noted in messages that Minhyuk sent him, in case he wanted to speak to him, turning his mind to the painful anguish. He lost count of how many times he wanted to call and tell his reasons, send a message with the answer to _that_ question, but it would be so unfair to interrupt the life he had built after being so cruel.

He had moved on. As he expected, Hyungwon had a solid career and growing recognition and he had no right to emerge from the ashes of a past that was probably buried for Chae.

He had made that decision himself.

But after eight years, Hyungwon was back and every day he was highlighting the marks he had left in his heart and proving that he was not the only one turning over all those feelings day after day.

"I was afraid ... of not being able to accompany you" he replied sincerely, even though he couldn't look up "I couldn't do it even before the end. During every calls when you were away, my heart filled with fear because I kept waiting, incessantly, for the moment when you would _have to end everything_. When I realized that you didn't intend to do this, but you would still go so far… I…"

"You decided alone that you should get out of my life" Hyungwon completed, pulling the air hard; the wind blowing between the two of them making him catch a glimpse of Changkyun's red face even though he had his head down "I was so scared not to hear from you and not know what was going on. I could say that it was the worst months of my life ... _If I hadn't spent the other months and years without you"_.

Changkyun looked up to the sky, trying to keep the tears from falling. The sky was clear and the few lights made the dark blue expanse shine filled with stars.

"Don't say that, Hyungwon" he said in a choked voice "I don't deserve you to say things like that after all. I lied to you, I worried you ... I made your friends shut up because I was afraid. I wanted to say that I was protecting only you, but I was _desperately wanting to protect myself"._

The tears finally fell over the course of his brief speech, and once he had started - both crying and talking - he couldn't stop.

"When I saw you making your plans I wanted you so much to make each of your dreams come true" he sniffed "But at the same time I was so afraid when the time to fulfill all these goals came, because I always felt so distant from this reality. When you were around, I used to pretend that nothing bad could happen because you made me feel so good. But the more time you spent far away, the more insecure I became. When you said you were going to another continent, I knew that we wouldn't be able to keep it that much longer. So I ran away..." His speech was interrupted by a sob and his face contorted as his hands tried, in vain, to dry his cheeks "I was so afraid that you would reject me that I left myself. I thought" one more sob "that you would suffer less from this than me".

For the first time, during his monologue, Changkyun dared to look at Hyungwon only to see the older man's wet face, closer to what he thought he would be. He bit his lip hard, trying to prevent himself from continuing with that crisis, but it was too late.

"Now you're back" whispered, since he knew Hyungwon was close enough to hear "Telling me that you thought of me as much as I thought of you in recent years and all I can think of is that this is not fair to you".

Hyungwon came even closer, reaching out to touch the shoulder that ran to the back of the neck doing the typical affection on the dark strands and Changkyun's eyes closed even though he was still crying. Chae was not much different, letting the thin tears wash his cheeks in silence until his thumbs came up against the youngest's cheeks in a soft caress.

"It is not fair because even now I am afraid" he confessed and sobbed again "I feel like I am seventeen again, wanting you so much ... But I still feel that I shouldn't tie you with me. I don't want to pull you down. I don't want to trap you where you can't enjoy the place in the sun that you worked so hard to conquer".

" _You are my sun_ " Hyungwon whispered against his face "I never felt stuck because of you. The only times I felt suffocated were those when you weren't with me. When I couldn't get back to you".

Changkyun heard and felt each word, knowing what he meant. Recognizing in himself each sensation, wishing to end that storm.

"I got lost every minute away from you. I thought of you in every decision I made. I remembered you each morning and each night. _I loved you every day, Changkyun"_.

The youngest looked for Hyungwon's eyes to face them, while holding his hands on his face. The tongue burning with the need to match that statement.

" _Me too_ " he sighed in relief, as if the whole world had stopped weighing on his back after saying those two words, but he felt it wasn't enough " _I love you too. I love you so much. I'm sorry…"_

The small hands searched the fabric of the suit at the sides of the body, needing to maintain that contact. Needing to have him around after so long away. Hyungwon gently wiped his cheeks and kissed his forehead before taking his lips carefully. It was a long but soft seal, just before he smiled through the tears that stopped little by little.

"It’s so good to hear you say" he murmured against the mouth of the youngest "Say it again".

"I love you" Changkyun repeated, unable to contain his own smile when he realized the other's "Love you, Chae Hyungwon. I love you".

The older one kissed him again, more willingly, reaching for the other's waist, bringing him closer and his arms closed around his neck as they continued with that contact becoming more and more intense. They were so eager to feel after so long. The kisses left their mouths, slowly moving down their chin and neck, causing chills and agitation that they were unable to feel with anyone else.

Hyungwon's hot breath blew against Changkyun's sensitive skin rising until it was again in front of his face, sucking on his lower lip before saying:

"I was longing to _love_ you here," he kissed him again, making the sound echo through the garden.

"So love me" whispered "I want to love you back".

Changkyun walked away under the older man's analytical gaze and slowly began to undress his suit. He unbuttoned his shirt and walked to the shore of the lake, waiting to be followed before he got rid of his pants and socks and entered the water with only his underwear on. Hyungwon smiled small, but it widened when he saw the youngest submerge and return to the surface showing the last piece of clothing, throwing it back to the margin.

Chae shook his head, still laughing, not needing to struggle to remember how cheeky Changkyun could be. He still had those memories in his mind and heart. And after he undressed himself and followed the youngest into the river, he noticed that even his most timid side after his impulses of courage remained there, making his cheeks flush.

He approached slowly, reaching for the smaller body with his hands and in a light impulse sustained by the water, Changkyun circled his body with his legs, returning to kiss him with the same slowness that the weak current hit his back. The orchestra of nature around them couldn't be more beautiful and no light could illuminate them better than that curtain covered with stars.

The long fingers made their way down Changkyun's spine until it stopped at the base, descending a little more and squeezing the flesh of his buttocks only to feel him gasp in his mouth. Erections waking up between their bodies, making them more sensitive to each new caress.

When Hyungwon, in fact, brushed his fingers with the intention of preparing him, Changkyun trembled in his lap, clinging to him even more tightly. Chae's mouth went against his neck, sucking on his skin, marveling at the low sounds that Changkyun let out. He couldn't even express how much he missed that grave tone reverberating in his ears, filled with pleasure.

“Come on” Changkyun groaned, pulling the strands of his hair to take his lips once more while asking “I want to feel you”.

And as always, Hyungwon gave in to his requests, carefully fitting himself in, pushing their bodies against each other until they were linked. They stood in that position for a few long seconds, kissing slowly, intoxicated with the sensation of being once again as one. The tightness and the filling making their voices chant pleasurable murmurs each time the current moved them without their intention.

When Changkyun moved, neither of them was able to close their eyes. They did not want to miss anything that the expressions said. They held on even more firmly and let themselves be carried away by the growing desire, finding the perfect rhythm and the truth through their eyes. The voices taking on new tones, louder, as they approached that apex together.

When their bodies reached a climax, Hyungwon staggered back, making Changkyun laugh. The smaller one stood up again, but kept the embrace indefinitely, listening to the fast pace of Hyungwon's heart against his ear. Always so similar and complement his own.

And Changkyun knew that he had been wrong before; _that was the most beautiful orchestra._

***

Hyungwon was lying on Changkyun's small bed, dressed only in shorts that were too short for him, watching the changes made in the room over the years. There was a graduation straw on the small table and a photo of Changkyun with his mother and friends on what looked like the day of his graduation. There was a stack of magazines that Hyungwon recognized as being from editions where he had worked as a model, but next to them were others on various subjects within the scientific area.

"Are you hungry?" Changkyun asked when he returned to the room, dressed in shorts and a shirt too big.

Hyungwon shook his head and opened his arms, calling him to lie with him and Changkyun gave a small smile before obeying. Their legs intertwined on the mattress and they stood there in silence until Hyungwon decided to ask:

"Have you worked in your area?" he asked carefully "I mean, you studied biological sciences, didn't you?"

Changkyun shook his head.

"I liked the course," he said "But I wanted to study about many other things after I entered university. But I didn't have time".

"Hum?"

"I needed to help my mother and it was difficult to complete the graduation. Only when the Lee family offered help, we were able to rest a little, but I was already at the end. I preferred to focus on helping around here instead of trying to continue with new expenses".

Hyungwon pondered that, stroking the dark strands spread across his chest.

"Do you still think that way?" He asked "Don't you want to try to do what you want?"

Changkyun was ready to say no, that he couldn't leave Grace alone or afford to make such high plans. But then he remembered his mother's words, spoken earlier that night.

_‘I already have my collection of memories. It's time to create yours and live your life without worrying about me ‘._

He could not suddenly let go of the responsibility he had created over her, let alone the insecurities that still plagued him, but being in Hyungwon's arms after all, made his response less negative.

"Maybe" shrugged "I don't know where to start".

"If you want" Hyungwon continued to caress his hair and his back "We can see some graduate programs ... Or student exchange".

Changkyun looked up, looking for Chae's. He kept the serene expression that he remembered so well, making a point here and there to be considered.

"There are universities in the neighboring cities that are very good. We can also talk to some friends of mine if you can't join an international program. If we talk to the right people, maybe we can make things more flexible, so you don't have to spend so much time away from your mom. Although I highly doubt that Dior would leave her alone".

A pleasant smile took on Chae's features and that made Changkyun laugh too, a little more restrained. Only those possibilities made his heart race and the chances that everything could go right were as frightening as the chances of going wrong. He had never even dreamed of leaving where he was and now, Hyungwon made a point of opening several doors and windows.

"You don't have to be in a hurry to make a decision," he warned, kissing the top of his head. "It's okay if you're in doubt about it. I just want to be able to find a solution _together with you_ " he looked at him firmly "We built important things separately and now, as adults, we can resolve and reach a consensus. I will not leave you again, Changkyun. Under no circumstances".

"I do not want you to leave me" the other snuggled into his embrace "I love you".

"Ah, again," he asked, holding him against his arms.

"I love you," said between laughs.

Hyungwon searched his eyes, still smiling and returned the declaration before kissing him again. As the dawn stretched and their bodies unhurriedly joined in that delicious and longing affection, the pieces came back together. The eyes returned to make statements beyond words and it was as if it were daytime, even though the gloom took over the entire city.

_Because they were, to each other, like the sun shining in the middle of winter._


	13. Epilogue

_ From: Minyokuu93@monmail.com _

_ To: CHyungwon0194@monmail.com _

_ Date: May 27, 2020 _

_ Subject: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY AUSTRALIA? _

_ Wonnie, _

_ I've been your best friend for like, I don't know, how old are you? _

_ And I hoped you would give me a little peace at least while I'm still on my honeymoon, but then I got this message from Jooheon saying that you and Changkyun just went to enjoy your vacation in Australia AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING. I THOUGHT YOU PROMISED ME TO TELL ALL THE GOOD NEWS. _

_ I thought this thing about the scientific program in Europe was the biggest news, but it looks like I was wrong. My mom gave me a call of at least thirty minutes crying when she thought Grace would move in with you if everything went well, even when I tried to comfort her by saying that the Im's land would stay in place and she would probably do recurring visits. If my poor mother has a heart attack, it's all your fault. _

_ But now it's serious, I'm so relieved. After everything that happened, I felt so guilty for not meddling as I normally would. I was just afraid to get involved and screw it up because I really thought you could solve your situation on your own. In the end, all I had left was to see two of my best friends hurted for years without being able to do anything. _

_ Well, almost. Then you can thank me for the insinuating invitation to my beautiful wedding. _

_ Speaking of which, you were right. The honeymoon makes the whole pre-ceremony stress period worthwhile, I got married very well (but I'll spare you the details). _

_ I'm happy that everything worked out and you're enjoying it together, finally as it should have been from the beginning. I love you. I hope you will visit me during the summer or I will hunt you down to the ends of the earth. _

_ With love, _

_ Minhyuk _

**_The End_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well This is the eeend  
> I'd like to thanks everyone that arrived here, thanks for reading, thanks for the comments , thanks for the patience and for being kind.   
> I really like this fanfic in my native language and hope you've liked it too, even with the mistakes I probably made haahefjnaekfl  
> Thanks for everything  
> Hope to see you soon  
> Sweet kisses <3


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